For the first time in 7 months I forgot my husband was dead. I was sitting in the middle of the day on my couch watching TV and looked at the clock. “It’s lunchtime, wonder what he’s doing? Maybe I’ll text him, oh wait, oh my god!!” The first time. Despite being in an apartment he’s never been in, sitting on a couch that he never sat on, I forgot that he was gone. I didn’t freak out. Told myself it wasn’t a big deal. Don’t dwell on it. But if you try NOT to think about something, you THINK about it MORE. I’ve been in an awful mood since. I just want him back. Father’s day is coming and I think it’s worse for me than my 8 year old son. But he won’t watch any videos of my husband. I told him it’s ok. I guess that’s just how people are different. The videos comfort me, but he doesn’t want them. At least we can talk about it. I miss him so much.