Widowed so young

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Kelly Youse, Apr 18, 2018.

  1. Kelly Youse

    Kelly Youse New Member

    I lost my husband on April 8th. He was only 43. We have a 17 year old together. I'm 39 and I'm so torn and lost. My world has been turned upside down and spun around. His name is Tony, he was a sweet sweet guy, he was literally the nicest most generous guy. He was the best father and husband. Our home is a very sad place right now. He was I'll for a few weeks, he was in the ICU for 2 weeks and on life support. His liver & kidneys both failed and his heart failed. I'm so lost... I've contacted my sons school regarding it and his school counselor is going to be working with him as well as another grief counselor. I'm looking for others to share stories with and to be strong with together. I know we will all get through this but not ever seeing him again hurts so bad.
     
    Willow Wood likes this.
  2. Hi Kelly,

    I’m very sorry for your loss.

    Three weeks ago I lost a dear friend of mine to cancer and congestive heart failure. She was a former professor of mine but we became close friends after the class ended. I really looked up to her.

    It’s good to hear that your son will be getting some help from the school. I hope that myself and others can be of some help to you too by sharing our stories and being strong together.

    Do you ever talk out loud to your husband when you are alone? I talk to my friend a lot and I always say good morning and goodnight to her, just as a way to keep some sort of a connection with her. I don’t know if she can hear me at all, but I like to think and believe that she can. It makes me feel a little better at times.

    Hang in there and be strong! ❤️
     
  3. SaraJane

    SaraJane New Member

    I always talk to my husband. He passed away a little over a month ago.
     
  4. Sorry for your loss SarahJane.
     
  5. lola m hornof

    lola m hornof New Member

    I lost me fiance on April 6 2018. I am devasted and feel so alone. I mis him so much he was my world my everything. All I do is hide and cry.
     
  6. Lenard

    Lenard New Member

    I am 51 and lost my wife in a car accident in March. She was 52 and on her way to work one Tuesday morning while it was raining really bad when her car hydroplaned into on coming traffic, I got there 5 minutes after the accident but she was non responsive. She was in icu for almost 3 weeks until she passed away. We have a 26 and a 19 year old daughter. I can hardly focus at work or sleep well at night. Our home just doesn't feel like home any longer, it feels so strange. We had been together for 35 years and married 29 of those. Life will never ever be the same for me again, to me this is a whole new world without her. I am just so heart broken.
     
  7. ChrisL

    ChrisL Member

    Hi Kelly, I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my wife 3 weeks ago. She was 45. We were together 28 years. Some would say I am lucky that I had her for so long and I would agree, but only in my worst nightmare would I say goodnight and 6 hours later find her gone! Profound sadness is a gross understatement! Thank God I have my 21 year old daughter and my Mother or I would have ended my life! Now I am trying to become a better human being on thus planet because of who my wife was! Hope that helps, even a little...
     
  8. Michele Wood

    Michele Wood Well-Known Member

    I lost my first partner 18 years ago when he was 52 and I had just turned 40. (We'd known each other for 20 years). It is very hard to take when relatively young people die decades before they should; I would imagine that may be one of your greatest regrets right now. Even now almost 2 decades later I think about him and how he would look and memories he missed. At the time he died we were just about to start living a better life.

    While every situation is different, I can tell you that y ou will recover. Your life will never be the same; it will be different. How different it is you will determine.

    In my case, I met my second partner several months later - probably too early. I was s till mourning my first though his death had been predicted three years before. My second partner died seven weeks ago- totally unexpected like your husband. It's harder because I did not have time to prepare.
     
  9. Joyce hanlon

    Joyce hanlon New Member

     
  10. Joyce hanlon

    Joyce hanlon New Member

    First I'd like to say... I'm so sorry! I understand your pain cause I feel it deep in my soul.
    I'm 49 and lost my fiance Nov 2 2017.
    I would describe my fiance just as you describes your husband. It very hard to make ends of why? I had to stop asking that. Sometimes we aren't going to know all the answers. Have by children makes this a challenge for you of course. But then again having themis a blessing as well.
    The tears won't dry up anytime soon. But I can say that now I can go places we used to go together... The lake...the farmers market.. And remember when. And smile knowing that we had fun together at those places..and imagine he smiling down on me... Saying thank you honey ..because I take his picture with me in my purse...
     
  11. Widow4/25/18

    Widow4/25/18 Member

    My husbands name was Tony too. 4/25/18 he was killed less than 3
    miles from home, have to travel down that road often and see the accident marks, our life has forever changed we didn'tknow hie was dead for 3 hrs they didn't know he had next of kin. I'm up at 3:15 am dealing with anxiety my kids are asleep
    I'm 37 and a widow he was 45 married for 16 years.
     
  12. Widow4/25/18

    Widow4/25/18 Member

    My husbands name was Tony too. 4/25/18 he was killed less than 3
    miles from home, have to travel down that road often and see the accident marks, our life has forever changed we didn'tknow hie was dead for 3 hrs they didn't know he had next of kin. I'm up at 3:15 am dealing with anxiety my kids are asleep
    I'm 37 and a widow he was 45 married for 16 years.
     
  13. Widow4/25/18

    Widow4/25/18 Member

    My husbands name was Tony too. 4/25/18 he was killed less than 3
    miles from home, have to travel down that road often and see the accident marks, our life has forever changed we didn'tknow hie was dead for 3 hrs they didn't know he had next of kin. I'm up at 3:15 am dealing with anxiety my kids are asleep
    I'm 37 and a widow he was 45 married for 16 years.
     
  14. Widow4/25/18

    Widow4/25/18 Member

    My husbands name was Tony too. 4/25/18 he was killed less than 3
    miles from home, have to travel down that road often and see the accident marks, our life has forever changed we didn'tknow hie was dead for 3 hrs they didn't know he had next of kin. I'm up at 3:15 am dealing with anxiety my kids are asleep
    I'm 37 and a widow he was 45 married for 16 years.