The last 2 months have been so hard. My dad was over on Easter and it was probably the most we've interacted in a while - he was usually busy with my kids (his grandkids, and probably his favorite people). This year they spent a lot of time outside and him and I got to talk more. We even joked together, something I dont think we've done since I was a kid. I reached out to him just 2 days later and he never responded. After some time I brought myself to call the local police department to do a wellness check as I was without a vehicle. While a part of me expected the worst, because it was so unusual for him to not respond to texts or answer calls, when I got that call from the police officer I fell to my knees in disbelief. I still cannot believe that my dad is gone. He was my best friend growing up, the person I longed to make proud. He grew my passion for sports and learning. I knew if I was ever struggling he'd be there to help - though I was often too embarrassed to ask. I dont know how to keep going, I dont know how to still be there for my kids. I spend my days depressed, crying, and just feeling so alone. I know one day I'll get past this, but right now Im struggling to see that, everything feels impossible.
