Nothing left

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Pie, Apr 13, 2019.

  1. Pie

    Pie New Member

    Married 44 wonderful years. Both of us had previous marriages that weren't at all successful.
    And in 44 years we never were apart except for one day.
    I am 75 and he was 76 in Dec, 2018, about 2 weeks ago he died at home.
    Now what? Nothing really. Still have our 19 year old cat. I am hoping that she becomes the oldest cat ever , she is all I have .
    Just wondering what I will do.. Hate traveling and all friends moved away years ago.

    Just want to know if I am feeling normal. I feel lost , so alone, and basically useless.
    Maybe if I last a few years, I won't feel so awful.
     
  2. Hi Pie, so far from what your feeling is to be expected and normal, I guess. I lost my wife on March 3, 2019 she was 32 years old and we were married for 8 going on 9 years as this May 14th was going to be our 9th. She to pass away at home in my arms. I just called my mother a few minutes ago, same as your situation all friends either went their way or were not friends at all. But I called her to complain and ask why am I doing this alone, I find it hard to move forward and grieve alone, so I moved in with my Little brother looking for support to find out that he can't handle this or know how to so pretty much he closed his door on me, so now today starts all over alone as I moved out and alone once again. the feeling I can express is feeling lost, betrayed, guilt, and hitting rock bottom. I cried all night and most of the day none stop and when I place the call to my mom I ask her why am I being ignored and isolated I did not plan my wife death nor had a choice in it, but all I ask is for someone to hear me and tell me its going to be okay but yet still not sure its because they don't know what to say....so I turn here for it, so Pie it's normal to feel this way and you are loved by so many and know this when you hit rock bottom it's a foundation to build up again, and also know that you are not alone in what you feel. have patience and live for your husband now as he will be there and guide you the way through the rest of your life.