My husband of 61 years died from cancer on Sep 10, the day after his 84th birthday. He had dementia for about 4 years and I was his caregiver. His illness progressed quickly in his last month and he went into hospice. Everyone feels that his death was a blessing because he was old and suffering. In my mind I know that is true but I still miss his presence. We were everything to each other. I turned to my four grown children for consolation because I thought they would understand. I really didn't understand that they would be grieving in their own way. I am alone most of the time. I try to stay busy during the day but the nights are lonely. My family wants me to stay busy and everything will be fine. They give advice on how to deal with my grief but do not share their time and our jealous of each other. I am realizing that I have to deal with this on my own.