Hi Heidi, my husband died 8 months ago after 43 years of marriage. It is a horrible thing to go through, losing the person you were closest to. I am lucky to have a warm and supportive family that isn't pushing me too much to "move on". I have always heard it takes a year, some say 18 months. What ever the time it sucks. I find the best way to cope is being alone, which is why I am on this site. I like talking to others in the same boat and not just anyone. Unless someone has been in your shoes they often don't know how you feel, know what to say, and as a result often don't feel that supportive even if they mean well. Losing your husband or wife is like having your leg cut off suddenly. It hurts, it's devastating and it changes your life but you do learn to get around again and can even have an enjoyable life, maybe even a better life someday, but you will never say "I don't want that leg back" because you will always miss it. I will always miss my husband. Losing him was like having both legs cut off but I am not starting to look around and seeing if there is something to distract me that can, if not bring joy, at least be less depressing than doing nothing. Support groups I know work for some people. i don't have one near me but you might. Don't worry about the pain, dont fight it. It will subside on its own and you can't push it, just distract yourself and keep talking to those who understand. Be kind to yourself. Your husband would want you to be. I sound together now, but often during the night or in the mornings I wake up and feel terrible: Panic, depressed, anxious or the worse emotion of all guilt. I always feel I could have made my husband more comfortable at the end or I wish I had been nicer to him (there a lot to feel guilty about). We just have to be kind to our selves, give ourselves a break and let the grieving run its course the best we can.