I understand what you mean. I was very independent before marriage and independent with marriage but not having someone who loves and supports you and climbs in bed with you at night as I had during 43 years of marriage is scary. Anyone who says "now you have to move on and live your life." has not lived through a major loss. It is a gradual I am sure. I am at a place (after 6 months) that I can start to see friends again. For 6 months I just wanted to be alone. Right now I would like someone just to hang out with but not for romance. One thing I noticed is that now that i am alone I need to search for things to do to distract me. I went to church for the first time in 5 years but even though everyone was very nice, I felt lonely because my husband was the extravert friend maker and now I am having to do it by myself.