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Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Jackie Sue, Jun 7, 2021.

  1. Jackie Sue

    Jackie Sue New Member

    I stumbled across this sight and thought I would reach out see if I can get myself straightened up. My husband died exactly 2 years ago after just a six month illness. I am a retired nurse, my kids are supportive we talk almost every day they understand my sadness and tears in would do absolutely anything for me. They live a good distance away can we visit when we can in person that is. My neighbors are wonderful and they are “there for me“ but it’s not the same you can’t just unload on your neighbors every time you feel like crying then put honestly my biggest problem is, I cry at the drop of a hat and definitely only time I think of my husband. I’m not lonely I’m just alone I keep busy I eat I sleep but I can’t stop crying when I think of Stan, about six or seven weeks ago a neighbor, retired physician, approached me and said that they thought that I was clinically depressed and that I was dysfunctional and that I should see my doctor and get on an anti-depressant. So I went to my doctor explained everything to him and he said OK if you’d like to try it, it is a pretty clean medications I am with you. So I was on 50 mg of Zoloft for less than 36 hours and I’ve turned into a Flippin zombie. I couldn’t think straight I couldn’t walk across the room with the feeling like I was gonna fall off the ends of the earth I felt like I was a zombie. And I was suddenly afraid afraid of dying if I stop taking the pill and it was just a horrible horrible time I spent seven days on this pill and when I finally called my doctor and told him what was going on he said I am at let’s stop this and so I did I will say one thing for it though inside of 24 hours I wasn’t crying anymore. Of course I wasn’t doing anything I couldn’t laugh I couldn’t smile I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat. Not a good thing for me I’m not taking any pills. I just wanna know how to move ahead and not think that I’m crazy because I cry I was at the loss of my husband a lot. OK thanks for listening I appreciate it
     
  2. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband died April 11. 2011. The more time that goes by, the more I miss him. I can be okay one minute, then something will remind me of him, and I can't stop crying. Crying is "normal," and is necessary to begin to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives and move forward. Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting. Grief will always be a part of our lives. Hopefully, one day we'll be able to find happiness again. However, happiness in our "new normal" will be much different from what we expected it would be. There will always be tears, but hopefully they will become less frequent. Everyone deals with grief differently, so I don't have an answer for you. I know my response doesn't help you, all I can do is to send many hugs your way. DEB321
     
  3. Jackie Sue

    Jackie Sue New Member

    Oh thank you so much for your reply.
    I am able to talk with my children about how I feel from time to time. And I have two friends who listen to anything and everything
    I have to say I just have to get in the habit of talking with someone on a more frequent basis I know. I appreciate your reply
     
  4. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that you can talk to your children, and have a couple of friends who are always here for you. I hope talking to them more often helps you deal with the never ending pain of losing your husband.
     
  5. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    You mentioned happiness in our "new normal". I've come to the realization I may not ever feel happiness, but hope to feel contentment.
     
  6. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I can't imagine living the rest of my life without happiness in it. This is why I said hopefully we'll be able to find it again someday. At the moment, the future just seems like a very dark, miserable place... I hope for you, for all of us, we're at least able to feel contentment.
     
  7. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Yes, contentment would be hopeful.
     
  8. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Deb, April 11, 2011 he died. That's 10 years ago, is this correct? Reading your grief experience it seems like it's fairly new.
     
  9. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    June 5th would of been our 40th Anniversary. That day was so sad for me. Jack, my husband, died Nov 2020, 7 months ago. My daughter gave me a heart necklace which said, "My Mind still talks to you and my heart still Looks For You, But My Soul l knows you're at peace".

    That hit me like a ton of bricks. She lost her Dad too. Tears today.

    That phrase, my heart still looks for you broke me down.

    This grief journey is so painful.
     
  10. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    That was a typo. He died April 11, 2021.
     
  11. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    The necklace, the saying on it, has tears running down my cheeks... I can't imagine how much it hurts...
    I had a really bad day today too. The weather has been miserable. Rain on and off, super humid, just so gloomy outside. I've been crying on and off the entire day.
    I totally agree, this grief journey is more painful than anything I could ever imagine. Sending lots of hugs your way, Debi
     
  12. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Sent too soon. As much as it hurts, that saying is so beautiful...
     
  13. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    I had to take off the necklace tonight. It made cry all day. I know my daughter meant it to be good for me, but not. I'm a mess tonight because I went through his clothes in his closet thinking what should I give away to the kids. I smelled his perpetration on a shirt that blew me away.

    We are in this together, I call it, HELL. Hoping God helps us.
     
  14. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    God will help you. I know because He helped me. May He grant you strength and the "peace that passes all understanding".
    Chris
     
  15. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    I truly believe in a God. Hoping for best, thank you Chris.
     
    Chris M 2000 likes this.