My life is upside down

Discussion in 'Life After Caregiving' started by Coleen O'Connor, Jan 20, 2019.

  1. Coleen O'Connor

    Coleen O'Connor New Member

    6 years ago I started on a unbelievably hard and rewarding journey to be my parents caregiver, my dad called me at work one day and said I don't know what I am going to do I can't take care of your mom and your sister wants to put us in a home being the baby and very much a daddy's girl I didn't even hesitate I quit my job gave up my apt and moved in 2 weeks later, my mom had Alzheimer's and required fulltime care and I was a single mom of two so my life became quite challenging. My mom passed away peacefully in her own home holding my dads hand 3 years ago, after she passed my dad was lost after 75 years of marriage he didn't know what do to, he looked at me and asked if I was going to leave him and put him in a home I had promised my mom I wouldn't do that so I stayed with him and it was hard and he was stubborn beyond belief but I stayed with him and in Sept he got sick and I know his time would be near ...a week before Christmas he started failing rapidly and we brought hospice in and the family came, he went peacefully in his sleep early Christmas morning figuring my mom said it was time. I miss my dad very much and circumstances have forced me to leave the house he built and I am broken feels like my whole world has been turned upside down.
     
  2. Sue123

    Sue123 New Member

    I'm so sorry for your pain and loss. My parents are still alive and live by themselves which I am grateful. I love them so much and each time I hear the phone ring I worry it's about them. My husband died Dec 1, 2018. He had alzheimers . We got married in 2002 and he lived at home with me until 2009. Then he went into a care facility until his death. Slowly he lost the ability to walk, stand, speak, do anything for himself. It's like he was trapped and stuck in his body. I too feel lost and dont know what to do. When we were together we thought he would be in a wheelchair because of his back but never did I think he wouldn't be at home. My prayers are with you. It is hard to go forward. It's like what do I do now. What's my purpose. What does live hold now? We didn't have children so that makes it more lonely. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  3. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Well-Known Member

    Dear Coleen and Sue,

    My heart breaks for your experiences. The feeling of lost are so extreme, we sometimes find it hard to breathe. Watching those we love fall apart and not be able to assist is devastating. Your feeling of being broken can be healed slowly. You both must focus on other thoughts. Ruminating is good for a while but is counter productive after a time. I know my friend and family must have gotten tired of hearing me tell my sad tale over and over, but they were patient. Take one step at a time. FInd support wherever you can. Peace.