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My husband had a MOTORCYCLE WRECK and was INSTANTLY PARALYZED FROM C-2 Down for 43 Days.

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Linda Gale, Aug 15, 2018.

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  1. Linda Gale

    Linda Gale New Member

    I had to take his ventilator off. It will be a year on August 27, 2018. I have TOTALLY ISOLATED MYSELF and I cannot seem to get out my front door to go anywhere but my Pain Management Doctor And Primary Care Doctor. I am 63 years old Been Disabled since 1997. He was my caregiver. I am unable to get around people. My son and daughter are both about a thousand miles away from me. Each has a family and raising three children each. They are too busy to deal with me. I have NO FRIENDS. BOTH PARENTS DIED. AFRAID OF WHAT MAY HAPPEN TO ME.
    MY HUSBAND LEFT ME SO FINANCIALLY IN DEBT. JUST THE IRS MONEY DUE IS MORE THAN THE VALUE OF OUR HOME. I WAS VERY STUPID BECAUSE I TRUSTED HIM AND HAD NO IDEA ABOUT ALL THESE DEBTS UNTIL AFTER HE DIED. I AM NOT MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABLE TO PAY BASIC BILLS OR AFFORD AN ATTORNEY.
    Please help me. I haven’t quit crying in over a year. I want to SLEEP all the time. I am going to have to MOVE and let IRS GET MONEY FROM HOUSE DUE TO A LEIN. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHERE TO GO. I FEEL BETRAYED AND I FEEL THAT I AM JUST WITHERING AWAY AND CANNOT MAKE ANY DECISIONS ABOUT ANYTHING!!! Even simple things.
    I am afraid. Thank you
     
    Linda Gale, Aug 15, 2018
    #1
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Linda, I am so sorry for your loss and for all your struggles. It sounds like you are dealing with so much, and support can be very hard to find. I think grief support and connecting with those who have also had a loss can be a true lifeline...still, I know it's not going to be able to fix all that you are trying to deal with. I'm hoping you can find some professional assistance with the financial matters, and use this forum to vent and cope with the challenges of loss. I'm glad you've found us and hope we can at least offer you some comfort and support. Please take care of yourself in the days ahead~
     
    griefic, Aug 16, 2018
    #2
    Linda Gale likes this.
  3. Linda Gale

    Linda Gale New Member

    When I woke up today, I received this email. Thank you so much for taking the time to get back to me. Today I have HOPE!!!
    Every morning I have to not just fight, but WAR with negativity and horrible memories!! Today, I am not alone!!
    Jim will be gone a year on August 27th. Does it EVER get better?? I didn’t know I had this many tears in me!!
    Thank you for caring and for giving me a place to vent and a place to learn to cope with my loss.
     
    Linda Gale, Aug 16, 2018
    #3
    griefic likes this.
  4. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    You are very welcome Linda, I'm glad you feel it's a help. In answer to your question, does it ever get better? I think that's what most grievers want to know. To answer this question (for myself and for others!) I often turn to Buddhism and the reminder of the changing nature of life.
    Nothing is permanent. Not the good times, but also not the bad times.
    If life is always changing than we can expect this pain and hurt to change and shift too. I think that's why people say "Time heals all wounds". I don't think any griever actually believes that, but time does have a way of softening the hard edges of grief. Time also allows us to adapt and adjust, which is a very important part of moving forward.
    We don't ask for these changes, and we don't ask for the circumstances of life that we're given, but I think our perspective when we decide where to go from here can make some difference.
    Thanks again for being here~
     
    griefic, Aug 16, 2018
    #4
  5. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear about your husband - and all of your other troubles. I hope you find this site helpful.
     
    Sciguy, Aug 17, 2018
    #5