I lost my dad 11 years ago. I don’t necessarily feel comfortable disclosing how, but it was out of nowhere. My parents had split 8 months before, and I was left by my mum to look after my dad, who suffered with bipolar disorder, and was a recovering alcoholic. At 14, I tried for a while to be a supportive daughter, but after a while I began to detach myself from my dad - who had been my best friend my entire life. We did everything together. Shared a love of film, sports, board games, and music. We spent as much possible time together, and he was my greatest hero and inspiration. When my parents split, I was on a weekly rotation between them. Whenever I was at my dads, he would cry and ask about my mums new boyfriend, or would be out until the early hours drinking, leaving me to stay up worrying about where he was. I sought help from my mum, but she simply told me that she had dealt with him for 20 years and it was my turn now. The last time I saw my dad, I was upset that he had slept in late on the day he was supposed to take him to my mums, and when he dropped me off, I slammed the door in his face when he tried to give me a hug goodbye. I’ll never get that image out of my head. As much as everyone says things will get better, they haven’t, and I struggle more and more with the guilt of upsetting my dad the last time I saw him. I miss him so much.