my boyfriend died on his way to see me

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Sc6140, May 27, 2018.

  1. Sc6140

    Sc6140 New Member

    Im a 24 year old female from NY. My boyfriend and I had lived together, we were going through rough times so I moved out for a few weeks. We were fighting but still madly in love trying to figure out how to make things work. On Thursday the 25th I FaceTimed him telling him I would be at a bar by my house and seeing what he was up to. We had gotten into a very very small argument.This was at 7:03pm. He had told me he would meet me there however I told him no and that I would be having dinner with a friend. He got onto his motorcycle to go meet me. At around 7:12 an suv cut in front of his bike and he tboned it unable to stop. He suffered severe head trauma and was DOA. Once I had gotten done with dinner around 10:00 I had gone home and called him angrily because he had not texted me. I sent him a large paragraph about how he has the worst mentality about how he doesn’t deserve nice things but that he deserves only the best and he needs to get over it. 15 minutes later I received a call from his best friend saying that he had been in an accident and that he wasn’t responsive with no brain activity. I made it to the hospital 10 minutes before they took him off life support. I’m crushed, I feel so numb and I dream of him. I can’t eat without taking a Xanax to calm my nerves. I keep talking to him out loud. We planned to get married one day and have children. None of my friends understand what our bond was like because I was always with his friends. I don’t feel like I can even trust my best friend with the way I’m feelingbecause she’s too fragile and it makes me angry.
     
    xHeavYMetaLx likes this.
  2. xHeavYMetaLx

    xHeavYMetaLx Member

    I'm really sorry to hear that its terrible. Loss is hard as hell i'm going through it too. I take xanax for panic attacks and i've been getting way worse ones then normal. It does do good at calming your nerves. Just becareful how much you take not to sound like a nag. It sucks your friend is fragile and can't handle being there for you i can't imagine. Personally i have like one friend and some family. Its why i made a account on here. I hope things get better for you. And that you get through this okay.
     
  3. xHeavYMetaLx

    xHeavYMetaLx Member

    I got mad at my girl for drinking...before she went in the hospital. So i know what its like to kind of be fighting with them. And it makes me feel guilty. That last week she was normal before going in the hospital i had yelled several times about the drinking. I'm not one to judge people for drinking or taking other things but i felt it would just make things worse. Its hard when some of your recent memories were negatitive.
     
  4. xHeavYMetaLx

    xHeavYMetaLx Member

    I should of put the drinking had nothing to do with her health or death so i'm adding this now. I just felt it wasn't good because of having bad health. She didn't die from drinking or get sick from it. She got malnourished from gastric bypass a long time ago and it created all kinds of issues. So she bleed out internally because of past bad surgeries... I believe in my opinion. They haven't told me why or how.
     
  5. Sc6140

    Sc6140 New Member

    I’m so sorry to hear about your girl. I went to the psychiatrist and got something better than Xanax. I also have a very small friend group so I get where you’re coming from. It’s so difficult. I’m still in shock. Today is the first day of his wake and I’m just like unable to even think about it.
     
  6. xHeavYMetaLx

    xHeavYMetaLx Member

    That has to be hard first day of his wake. Yeah it is a shock and weird as hell. Keep expecting them to come home or to your house whichever. That's good you saw the psychiatrist. It just sucks pills and /alcohol don't make it go away . but they don't hurt either.
     
  7. angel instincts

    angel instincts New Member

    I'm new here, and can relate to your story. I'm so sorry for your loss.
    I lost my niece and nephew who were killed when someone ran a red light and t-boned them. He has a record of causing accidents, and not paying attention while driving, but because he has money- They never punish him.
    They sorta felt like my children. I guess that's why this loss is much harder to deal with then any of the others I have dealt with. I have lost all my original family except my mom. The kids are still the hardest.
    You mentioned you dream of him... I am experiencing that as well (or did). Every morning at the time they died, I woke up and would see what was happening to them inside the car, as the accident happened. At first, it was just seeing my nephew (who was driving) scream OH GOD and put his arms (crossed) in front of his face. He also kinda turned his back towards my niece- I think to try to protect her. But instead, the back of his head hit her face. I can't talk to any of their friends or my mom about this, it will upset them.
    I tried to talk to a couple different friends- and they all think I'm nuts now and say- see a doctor. It's agonizing seeing it happen. everyday I was waking up to this- until I begged for it to stop. Part of me thinks they were trying to tell me something. But I don't know what. I see it in great detail. I physically see him pushing into her, and then his head splitting like a tomato (from his forehead to the middle of the back of his head) The worst part is, I know she died on impact, but he woke up... saw her, said he was sorry and then died. They were pronounced on the scene. I also know that the guy that hit them, refused to help try to save them, or even call 911. He showed no remorse, and actually tried to blame them.