Lost

My mother passed away February 24,2021 and I’m having a hard time navigating it. Everyone around me still has both of their parents and it’s been 10 years without my dad and 2 months without my mom and I’ve never felt more alone. I have a step dad and a brother but they’ve already moved past. They are not emotionally supportive or helpful and I’ve been back at work since because I had to and I keep trying to explain that I don’t have the energy to do even the most basic things but I feel like a bad guy every time I ask for help because they can’t understand what I’m saying to them. I don’t know how to keep going without her, I don’t know how to find the energy to just exist. I just don’t have anyone to talk to about grief. I am 21 years old and have realized death is very uncommon for my age group.

 

Hi ,

I am so sorry to hear about your mothers passing. I to just lost my mum March 17th, 2021 . It doesnt seem real, until i get up in the morning thinking i am going to see her and I quickly get reminded that she is gone.
It's a strange and heart breaking feeling , and even harder to explain to others.
The feeling of no energy, lack of enthusiasm, and no motivation is exactly how i feel right now, its not that I intentionally do it, its called grieving.
You just lost the woman who raised you , carried you for 9 months, and made you . So you have every right to feel the way you do and you do not need to give anyone an explanation of your feelings or how you have no energy for them. Its okay to feel this way and act this way. You are a human being, not a super hero.
I feel like when we loose someone so close to us , our other part of us attached to them goes with them too, and you just feel so empty. So blank, its like throwing a pin a dark hole and you never hear it hit the bottom.
Take your time, and take care of yourself and your needs and mental health and emotional health, and I have learned to only surround yourself with positive people and kind understanding people.
Be kind to yourself as well. Dont be so hard on yourself. ( I am just learning that , and slowly getting rid of people who are no good for me anymore )

Hope this helped a little bit
Sending you a big hug
Kate

 

I also had a very great struggle finding energy. I have always been tired all my life due to a sleep disorder, and with the death of our 28 year old son, I did not think I could even go on. I didn't understand why I would still be here without him. I had looked forward to spending time with him when I retired. We really enjoyed each other's company and just doing simple things together. I was dysfunctional at work-even had someone come in and plop down in a chair in my office and say, "I don't know what you do in here all day. You get paid much more than I do and you are not doing anything." Needless to say, she had no idea what the sucide of your son does to you. You can only do the best you can, and nothing more. Don't set high hurdles for yourself or let anyone else do that either. Be encouraged that you can get up in the morning, and get ready, and go to work. It is a big accomplishment and uses a lot of your energy. Be kind and patient with yourself. Others who have not experienced a close death do not and cannot understand what you are going through. You will make it. Just hang on until it gets better. It will. Chris

 

Thank you for your words of wisdom and God bless you through your loss. Chris

 

My mom passed away over 2 years ago and after this anniversary I felt the unmotivated and lack of energy that y'all are describing. It is the most challenging thing that I have faced so far is her passing believe me and I suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression from trauma from my father and neglect from my mother. The way that I channel my bad days is focusing on one day at a time and letting myself feel the grief as it comes, it is empowering to me to just be in that present moment and move on. I look it in a positive way that my mom would not want to me be suffering still and to keep it moving and make her continue to be proud of me. It took along time to get to this point of my grieving process and I still have a bunch of unresolved issues to deal with so I focus on the happy memories instead of all of the negative stuff that occur leading up to her death but these are the words of encouragement that I can share with you. Additional remember there is no specific amount of time that you are allow to grieve it all is individually basis and focus on what makes you move thru this process in the way that is acceptable to you. Love yourself because you are the one feeling these emotions.