Lost My Husband Suddenly

Keep writing in your journal. It will help in your healing process. Important support.

 

Hi, I lost my best friend/husband of 31 years suddenly to an accident that the M.E is starting was caused by suicide. My husband actually drowned in a freezing cold lake, and was able to get out of vehicle, but he was either disoriented or unconscious..no one knows how he drove into lake. He was dealing with some mental health issues and medication that we didn't like. I spoke with him night before accident when he called from work, very upbeat,wanted to say hi while he was on beeak..very common. The next morning he hardly had been sleeping for weeks due to meds side effects.. and he just couldn't sleep he told me. I had to leave house to do some things and he told me cause he couldn't sleep he wanted to be productive during the day and do some outdoor chores to hopefully get him tired. When I came home that day, police came to my house and told me of accident. What brothers me the most is they claim suicide, but he was in therapy for 2 years, and we both started together 2 weeks prior, we had plans, he wanted to feel better and try different meds. We couldn't get any appointments till new year, most offices were closed for holidays. We had a fantastic relationship, though past year as I said he had been dealing with mental health issues and it was trying at times, but we were fighting it together. There was no note to me or to our adult son, and he also left his dog, his pal. I'm not able to accept the intentional ending of his life. He could have downed the bottle of sleep medication..a much easier way to go..but again, he and I were planning 2021. It sucks not knowing..and I want to fight for his reputation. He was a hard working and at his job over 20 years..in fact just got a huge raise that he was ecstatic about..so things don't add up. I think he had sleep deprivation as well as a psychotic moment, which is why they were trying meds on him...thank you for reading this...I'm trying to move forward

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and I am so sorry for your loss. This sudden new life or new normal for us is so devastating. Please keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine
I just feel so lost and again thank you for reacjing out to me.

 

I am so sorry for your loss and yes you knew your husband better than anyone. Fight for him because society likes to say what they think or feel verses what is factual and in your case your facts should be considered because you were the person with him day and night. I know your life has changed suddenly like mine and others on here and we don't know how to process any of this grief. I will be praying for your strength because that is what we all need on a daily basis. Thsnk you for sharing with me.

 

I am so sorry for your loss and I pray we can get throughthis grief
I just feel so lost and alone.

 

Ohhh I love that’s you’re writing in a journal daily ! What great medicine !!! I’ve decided to print some special pics of us and place them ALL around our home so I can stare at his handsome face every second .... omggggg. Can’t tell u how happy I am to share with others that just get me !!! The club we don’t want to b in but I feel the love n support even as I type this on my phone. xoxox. Hangin in there

 

My 35 yr old husband passed away right next to me. I keep writing the story and I’m exhausted from it. But it sounds like we both lost the love of our life around the same age. And it is unbearable. Writing on forums, going to therapy...they keep me distracted. No one understands this feeling unless you go through it. It is unimaginable. I nauseous every morning and don’t want to face the day. I can’t imagine going back to work and pretending to be normal. I saw his grandma and spent 2 days in bed again. Even that was too much. Brandon and I missed each other everyday, even when we were just at work. That’s a once in a life time connection. Taken suddenly and unexpectedly. So young. I want answers. I want understanding. I want a moment of peace. But most importantly, I just want to think of him as ok. That he is ok. Which sounds silly. Because he’s not around anymore. But nothing about this makes sense. People say time helps. I haven’t found much else that helps except writing on forums like this over and over. I’m trying one of the groups tomorrow. I haven’t found therapy that effective, but I think I might just need a different therapist. Thinking of you. We are on very similar timelines and ages. Please contact me anytime

 

Dear Katie, that is a beautiful dream and testament to your love for each other. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my partner to a sudden heart attack almost two years ago. He will always be a part of your life, but different now. I truly believe God took my Billy for reasons I'll never know. I am not very spiritual but find comfort that Bill is in Heaven with God and looking over all of us now. I always called Bill my angel when he was here with me, now he is an angel in Heaven. The emptiness and terror do get better, or maybe I've just gotten used to them. The loneliness gets less unbearable with time.

I love that you write to him in your journal - I may steal that idea from you to help keep my Bill alive in my memories. Rich and Bill would want us to be strong and learn to be happy again someday. I wish that for all of us.

 

Katie I feel your pain and get what you are saying. I am on day 15 after losing my apparently healthy husband to a sudden heart attack. It is truly a matter of whatever gets you through the day and I am not always sure what that is. I saw a counsellor today and she said she was amazed I made it to her so soon and although of course I am still in pain it helped. Your journal sounds good if it brings you comfort. I am here because I want to feel better and know the grief will never leave me entirely but want to live as my husband would want that.