September 29, 2018 changed my life forever. Not sure who I am anymore. My husband was a electrician and traveled for work. So Saturday evenings was our special time together. He got up that morning and loaded up the truck to come home for a night. He sent me the last message I would ever get from him. "CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU SWEETS". Got a phone call from his room mate in a panic stating Tom collapsed at work and he was following the ambulance to the hospital that Tom wanted to make sure he told me that he loved me. I drove frantically for 3 hrs only to be called by the Dr. 10 min from the hospital. He asked me to pull over, the tears and panic came across me immediately. He didn't have to say anything, I already new. He said Tom had a stomache aneurism and had went in to cardiac arrest and could not revive him. That second changed me forever. I am so sad all the time, every one has gone on with their lives as normal and all I do is cry. I have pulled away from my family and friends, so hard to be around people being happy. So I understand them not wanting to be around someone sad all the time. I find my self not wanting to be happy if the makes any sense. Everyone tells me get out be around people, I just want to be alone. Took everything we had financially to get him transported home, funeral, final expenses so now trying to suport myself again after 25 yrs. Had to move out of our home and leave all the memories. I think this made it so much harder, seems as if I was having to say good bye to everything we had. I catch my self still checking my phone every morning to see his "Good morning sweets" message. I don't know how to move on from this. Feel so depressed and alone. Wish everyday for my life back.