Lost my husband/best friend

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Dot Reichart, Apr 13, 2019.

  1. Dot Reichart

    Dot Reichart New Member

    September 29, 2018 changed my life forever. Not sure who I am anymore. My husband was a electrician and traveled for work. So Saturday evenings was our special time together. He got up that morning and loaded up the truck to come home for a night. He sent me the last message I would ever get from him. "CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU SWEETS". Got a phone call from his room mate in a panic stating Tom collapsed at work and he was following the ambulance to the hospital that Tom wanted to make sure he told me that he loved me. I drove frantically for 3 hrs only to be called by the Dr. 10 min from the hospital. He asked me to pull over, the tears and panic came across me immediately. He didn't have to say anything, I already new. He said Tom had a stomache aneurism and had went in to cardiac arrest and could not revive him. That second changed me forever. I am so sad all the time, every one has gone on with their lives as normal and all I do is cry. I have pulled away from my family and friends, so hard to be around people being happy. So I understand them not wanting to be around someone sad all the time. I find my self not wanting to be happy if the makes any sense. Everyone tells me get out be around people, I just want to be alone. Took everything we had financially to get him transported home, funeral, final expenses so now trying to suport myself again after 25 yrs. Had to move out of our home and leave all the memories. I think this made it so much harder, seems as if I was having to say good bye to everything we had. I catch my self still checking my phone every morning to see his "Good morning sweets" message. I don't know how to move on from this. Feel so depressed and alone. Wish everyday for my life back.
  2. Julie Brown

    Julie Brown Active Member

    Dot, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband July 28th, 2018..he drowned. I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to be around people. I didn't work for about a month after Todd died and I just stayed in my bedroom and cried most of the time. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it will get better for you with time. I didn't think I could go on without him and I didn't know how to. Its hard to move on. When I finally went back to work, I just cried most of the day. You would think a person would run out of tears, but you don't. It is hard to explain but one day it will get a little better and the next day will be worse. You will go through all sorts of emotions and you will keep asking why? I found it most helpful on this website, talking with people that actually were going through what I was going through. It may not seem like it right now and I am sure you heard it many times but trust me..."it does get a little easier to cope with". I am not saying one day you will wake up and everthing is ok, because that won't happen. It will get a little easier to accept one day. I cant tell you how long because everyone is different. I can tell you it will happen tho. I didn't want to go on without him, I didn't know how to go on. I didn't understand why this happened and why was I left all alone? I still don't have all the answers and I probably never will. (We never had any children and my family is in MN) I had/have no one here in WA. People tried to get me to move back to MN but I couldn't do it. I knew I had to prove if anything to myself I can do this. It is hard, but I am. You have to take care of yourself. I wish you didn't have to go through this nightmare. I can tell you..."it does get better". Not like 100% better but it does get better. I know this whole ordeal with my husband has made me so much stronger than I ever thought I could be. It does help (for me) to talk about him. It helps me when I can come to this site and talk with people. One day you will realize I can get through this! As much as we dont like it, life does go on. No matter it you want it to or not, it does go on. Another thing I did was I was given a journal after he died. Just about every night for 6 months I wrote him a letter. I told him about my day, I wrote my feelings and it helped me so much. I just wrote whatever was on my mind. Then occasionally I would go back and read my letters to him. That was a healing process for me. Maybe you can try it? I hope you stay with this site because the people are wonderful. Just remember...you are not alone. There are many others on this site that are going through the same thing you are. It helped me heal somewhat. Any type of healing is better than none at all. I will be saying prayers for you. Be strong! You can get through this!!