i thought I’d reach out and try to find help on how to cope with the loss of my loved ones because I can’t seem to do it by myself. I had lost the two people who meant the absolute world to me. I can remember the day my sister got the call like it was yesterday and it breaks my heart to not have him here. My dad wasn’t in my life but for only one year. I had to look up to my grandpas they helped raised me to be who I am today. I lost my grandpa Tom back in 2007 he had stage 4 of esophageal cancer I was only 9. Then I lost my grandpa Kenny in 2016 the reason he passed away still stands a big question to me because I want to believe what my grandma told the family but I can’t somethings been telling me it’s bigger than that. I’m finally coping with my grandpa Tk being gone but I can’t cope with my grandpa Kenny. I just don’t understand. I know nothing will bring him back but it just hurts worst more and more that he’s gone. A month after my grandpa Kenny passing I had found my dad on Facebook and started talking to him but soon came to realize he was out of my life for a reason. He was mentally abusing me and making me feel like I had no purpose here. I stoped talking to him because I felt I wanted to connect with him only for him to fill that void but truth is no one can. Any advice?