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Lost my grandpa

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Amele21, Feb 14, 2019.

  1. Amele21

    Amele21 New Member

    i thought I’d reach out and try to find help on how to cope with the loss of my loved ones because I can’t seem to do it by myself. I had lost the two people who meant the absolute world to me. I can remember the day my sister got the call like it was yesterday and it breaks my heart to not have him here. My dad wasn’t in my life but for only one year. I had to look up to my grandpas they helped raised me to be who I am today. I lost my grandpa Tom back in 2007 he had stage 4 of esophageal cancer I was only 9. Then I lost my grandpa Kenny in 2016 the reason he passed away still stands a big question to me because I want to believe what my grandma told the family but I can’t somethings been telling me it’s bigger than that. I’m finally coping with my grandpa Tk being gone but I can’t cope with my grandpa Kenny. I just don’t understand. I know nothing will bring him back but it just hurts worst more and more that he’s gone. A month after my grandpa Kenny passing I had found my dad on Facebook and started talking to him but soon came to realize he was out of my life for a reason. He was mentally abusing me and making me feel like I had no purpose here. I stoped talking to him because I felt I wanted to connect with him only for him to fill that void but truth is no one can. Any advice?
  2. Leeinphilly

    Leeinphilly New Member

    I fear my words may sound trite, but I pass them on from my own experience. I think you had a really good insight about connecting with your father because you were trying to "fill that void". In my own experience, grief comes in waves. Some days I feel perfectly fine, then other days it hits me all over again. Tonight I was at a sandwich shop and the young man behind the counter reminded me of my nephew Danny who died of an overdose, and I felt tears come to my eyes. I felt like I was right back there on the day he died. My best advice - advice that was given to me - is be gentle with yourself. Let yourself feel the feelings, but do your best not to drown in them. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, take a nap - but then do something life-affirming, like walk in nature or get a pizza. I hope this helps. You're not alone.
    Amele21 likes this.