Lost my Fiance, My best Friend

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by LauraW, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. LauraW

    LauraW New Member

    On May 23, 2019 I was getting off of work and got a phone call that forever changed my life. The love of my life was in a head on collision and was gone before he even made it to the hospital. He was only 40 years old! I'm so lost, nothing makes since anymore. We where suppose to be old and gray when this happened.
    I don't know what's killing me more that hes actually gone or that we where fighting the day before and when I left for work that day he stayed in bed and I was in a hurry so I left without giving him a kiss bye. Something I never did. I dont even know why I did it.
    We had been together for 11 years. We have a 7 year old and a 4 year old together and he raised my 12 year old as his. He was literally the best in every way. We had problems of course but we where HAPPY.
    We where in the process of remodeling a house to move in with our kids. He just got a better job with a future and benefits. Life was FINALLY falling into place!
    And now. Nothing seems right. I dont know what I should do. The kids still want to move. Everyone I know has been pressuring me since the day after the accident about the move but I have NOT been able to touch anything in our room.
    I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare
  2. WoodMan

    WoodMan Active Member

    Laura, I in the same nightmare. My wife of 47 years died on March 26. I was praying when I got home yesterday (as most days) that when I arrived it would over, I would wake.

    You are not alone. Even after 47 years I thought we would have a few more. Time to travel, see the grandkids have families.

    Wish I could say something to help. I taking it hour by hour right now.

    Do Not make any fast decisions.... Take your time.
  3. Collection

    Collection Member

    Laura, I know exactly how you feel. My love passed on May 28th; it does feel like a nightmare! I went back to work 2 & 1/2 weeks after his passing, hoping that it will help me somewhat get back to feeling normal (whatever that is). I'm a little glad I did, but I don't know if I miss him more when I'm at work or when I return home. He would text me 20mins after I've got to work to make sure I got there safely; and we would text periodically throughout the day. We have 4 kids together & our youngest is 4 as well, so I truly do know how you feel. Who would have ever thought I would be widowed before I even turn 40? We were together 20 years, this just feels so unfair! Every other day our 4 yr old is asking "is daddy still in heaven"? That question cuts so deep!!!