Lost my ex to suicide, it's a very lonely place to be

I found out from a stranger a few months back that my former long-term partner from an 11 years long relationship had passed away, rumoured to be suicide.

This has created a turmoil in my life. And a very lonely and isolating experience of grief. I am struggling to find a way to move forward without knowing what exactly happened to him, where he is buried, what happened to him toward the end of his life.

We were not much in touch but he was my first love and my main life companion for a long-time, we grew up together. I wish we had found some closure and ended things better. I feel isolated as it feels as an ex I am less entitled to grieve him. I will always love him and I want to keep is memory alive until I will be around.

 

Hello Pva,

I know you posted this in April but I am hoping you get this reply. I know your exact pain and I'd really like to talk with you, I think we will be able to help each other a lot. If you get a chance my email is allinthistogethergrp@yahoo.com . Hope to hear from you soon. Sorry for you loss.

Olivia

 

I am sorry for your loss. No one has to have a right to grieve someone they love. We are all allowed to do that. It shows the person had value. I think grief is lonely and isolating, no matter what the circumstances. I know I felt so isolated when our 28 year old son committed suicide. Everyone goes on with their life as usual, except the person grieving. Life stops for them at that terrible moment for quite awhile.

Is there no way to find out more about the circumstances you mentioned? Not knowing is a very hard thing. I hope you can find out something. Have you tried putting his name in a search engine such as Google, along with the word 'obituary'?

Hugs to you,
Chris