Lost my best friend (husband)

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Saverio Russell, Sep 9, 2016.

  1. Thanks Sal
    I do have that workbook,I got it from a grief support group.
    It is still too early for me,it has only been six weeks since he passed and I know everyone says it gets better but I feel like it was yesterday,I am really trying but certain things just start me crying all over again.
     
  2. Sal

    Sal Guest

    It's really does get better, Saverio. It comes in waves. At first they are constant and just push you around and you feel like you'll never feel better. But after some time you will start to have days where things aren't so bad, at least part of the day. Then another wave will come and you'll cry and cry. Then things will settle down again for a little while. And so on. When you get to the point where you feel more in control, that will be when that workbook will help. Right now it's too raw, I understand. I felt the same way for a long time. But I promise, it really does get better over time. I still get knocked sideways sometimes, but most days I feel I'm able to handle it now. I still think about him all the time but it's not always so painful or sad/ I can remember the good things, and I'm much more in control of my tears. It will happen for you too, when you're ready. It took me almost 6 months before I could handle the workbook.
    (((Hugs))).
    Sal
     
  3. Thanks for the support.I am looking forward to the day when I can think of all the good times without crying.
    I still feel a lot of loneliness and I have to find a way to deal with it.
     
  4. My husband's cancer came back and three weeks later he was gone. It's only been three weeks since he passed and I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. I only had him for close to seven years. He was a wonderful man. A true gentleman. God bless him. I am so lost.
     
  5. Ellen C

    Ellen C Guest

    Dear All:
    I feel everyone's pain from your heartfelt words and I am so very sorry for everyone's loss. I know all too well what the first weeks are like and then the first months and after the first year. I lost my Mom last May and my Dad almost 12 years ago. They were such a huge part of my life and although it's gets a bit easier, the pain and emptiness is always there.

    I also lost my spouse, though not through death. It was by way of betrayal, lies and cheating for 10 years. Sometimes I think death would be easier to accept. I was with him for 25 years and married for 19. The emotional abuse I endured has changed me forever. My divorce became final in July and although he is still alive and kicking, the entire process was very much like a part of me dying. Unfortunately there are very few good memories to fall back on, so right now I'm in the healing process. Much like many of you here.

    I just wanted everyone to know that you are heard and understood. And also given a lot of credit for working so hard at keeping it together. When something like losing a loved one happens, we all have two choices. Lay down and die along with them or just keep going and live life as best as you can. I think the choice to continue is the harder of the two, but certainly the one most worthwhile.

    I hope and pray that it gets better and easier for everyone here.

    Ellen