Okay, I am so lost anymore. I am up and down. Moments where I am so numb I just get up, go to work, come home sleep. Then I'll lose it...absolutely be done. Just crying, anger, and sadness. I lost my two year old son, Matthew April 11, 2018 due to negligence of his grandparents (his fathers parents). My son was active, always going and loved the water. They has a 10ft deep man made pond 100ft from their front door. They weren't paying attention. I understand accidents happen, but when you go past the pond that is right there and go all the way over to your neighbors there is something wrong with your thought process. Now, I see him on the hospital bed with a women in her 20's straddled over his body trying to bring him back. He is all I ever wanted and now he is gone. What is there to live for when he isn't here and nothing truly makes me happy. I'm just going through motions now. I miss him so much.