Just lost my dad

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Blondemom75, Jun 17, 2020.

  1. Blondemom75

    Blondemom75 New Member

    I just lost my dad on may 17th I’ve been having a really hard time dealing with it I cry myself to sleep every night I’m depressed I just can’t seem to move on. If there are people out there who would like to talk and help me through this I would really appreciate it
     
  2. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Well-Known Member

    It’s a very hard thing to go through alone. I loss my mother in 2016 from a heart attack. My father was and still is heart broken. They were married almost 50 years. My husband and I took my father every where with us or my father and I would go together on trips. I had such a wonderful husband, he never once stopped me from taking care of my father. Now my heart is broken as I lost my husband to cancer in October 2019. It was too late when we found out and he only lasted around 6 months. My father has now helped me with my heart being broken. It never gets easier and I cry every day for them both. Now I have a fear that my father or I will pass and then one of us will be alone again. I have other siblings but it just isn’t the same. They just seem worried about themselves. I do have a daughter and a son plus 3 wonderful grandchildren so that helps some. But your hearty still wants what u can’t have. I hate it but u can’t do anything about it but try to just get Thur the day and take some time. Don’t be hard on yourself for being upset. Just try to take care of yourself the best u can. God bless
     
  3. Nicole51720

    Nicole51720 New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I am new to this site and felt I needed to reply to your loss. I lost my Dad on the same day of this year and the coincidence of that made me think I am supposed to reply to you.
    I feel very much like you do. Cry most everyday and can't sleep and some days it is all i can do to function for missing him so much. It is my first loss of a parent and it came unexpectedly. Its so difficult and I understand. I can say that It has gotten slightly easier but, I know it will be some time before I will stop missing him so much.
    what has helped me is knowing he is happier. That love does not end just because our bodies are gone. I talk to my Dad a lot. Its a little one sided but, sometimes i think i can hear him responding. its just a feeling and knowing more than hearing his voice but, it helps me to feel a little better. I dont know what your belief structures are as far as death and the afterlife but, it helps to know that they are not gone and that we will see them again. I also, know our loved ones can visit and that they can still be a part of our lives. Maybe, in a more subtle way now but, still able to connect and be there with us in their own way. I understand though the deep sorrow and feeling like there is no more joy and how can i be happy when he is gone. I know in time it will get easier. I allow myself to grieve when i need to. it helps. i am going to plant a tree for my Dad in his honor and hold a service at home as well on my own. We have not had a service due to the covid lock down but, plan on doing something later. Dad was a Dementia patient and we were unable to see him and the isolation took a heavy toll on my Dad . So i have a lot of sadness around that as well. it is a long story and will maybe be another post for me. I just want you to know you are not alone and the pain will lessen in time. I am always willing to talk. I wish you comfort and peace during such a horribly sad time in your life. Try writing a letter or talking to your Dad. It may feel odd at first and you may not want to talk to him in public.for fear of looking a little crazy. Sorry had to inject some humor in there. I just know it helps me when I am missing him and need to connect. i hope it helps you with your loss as well. Sorry for the long reply. It seems once i started it was hard to stop.