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Just like that... they are gone

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Kimirose, Sep 9, 2020.

  1. Kimirose

    Kimirose New Member

    It’s been 1 year since my dad passed from cancer. Well more from complications due to a surgery for the cancer. So it was unexpected as the doctors were very sure it would cure him. It’s been 8 weeks since my mother passed away from pancreatic cancer. Also very unexpected, we went to visit her for memorial weekend and she was having pain. I asked her to see a dr before I went back home. She went to the ER alone due to covid. I have to mention she also had aphasia from a stroke 3 years prior. So she did not understand the horrors they were going to tell her. Alone. That part really kills me. She drove back to her house where I and my 4 children were waiting. She handed me the paperwork. Cancer was everywhere. I knew then it was the beginning of the end. We stayed with her the entire last 6 weeks of her life. She was only 60. We had so many plans but were waiting for the covid to be over. I’m just so heart broken and feel so alone. My spouse has no idea how to help.
     
  2. Toni24

    Toni24 Member

    Kimirose...I can hear the pain in your words. I know how hard it is for you right now. My Dad's hospitalization to death was 11 weeks and our family was very involved. He has been gone now for 3 months. I lost my mom to cancer years ago. People don't often talk about what it actually feels like when both parents are gone. It is an emptiness. I have a loving family and still feel this way. I told my husband that it wasn't a slight on him but our parents are the only ones that truly love us unconditionally and you feel it deep within your bones when it is gone.

    I know I will "carry" their love with me during my remaining years but it just isn't the same. I think it is also a reminder of our own mortality and it takes some time to come to terms with. I remember my father struggling in the same way when his mother died.

    Just wanted you to know someone was thinking of you today. I hope you are able to find some comfort in that. Peace to you.
     
    Kimirose likes this.
  3. Kimirose

    Kimirose New Member

    Your explanation of feeling empty is spot on. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so sorry for your losses as well. Feel free to message anytime. Your friend
    Kim