I lost my husband on Dec. 6th 2018 he died suddenly of a heart attack. since then I've been going through the motions of taking care of all the things he used to do and to be strong for my kids. I've had several emotional breakdowns in private because I don't want my children to worry about me, but it's almost 6 months now and I get this overwhelming fear sometimes when I think that I will never see him or hear his voice again. I'm missing him more and more as the days go by and this feeling of anger but I don't know what I'm angry at comes over me. we have been together since we were teenagers and we would have celebrated our 30th anniversary this past january but he died a month before, he was only 50 years old and I can't picture my life without him, we did everything together and not a day went by that we didn't see each other, I think about him as soon as i wake in the morning and all day long and he's the last i think of before I go to sleep, I desperately want and need him back. I need to know that he's with me and I always want to talk about him but I don't want to make others uncomfortable even to my kids, it hurts them to much, so I have to keep pretending that i'm ok and that everything will be fine and life will go on but I don't know how it will for me, I'm trying but I feel like my world is falling apart.