I'm missing my husband

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Rosaria Cuthill, May 24, 2019.

  1. I lost my husband on Dec. 6th 2018 he died suddenly of a heart attack. since then I've been going through the motions of taking care of all the things he used to do and to be strong for my kids. I've had several emotional breakdowns in private because I don't want my children to worry about me, but it's almost 6 months now and I get this overwhelming fear sometimes when I think that I will never see him or hear his voice again. I'm missing him more and more as the days go by and this feeling of anger but I don't know what I'm angry at comes over me. we have been together since we were teenagers and we would have celebrated our 30th anniversary this past january but he died a month before, he was only 50 years old and I can't picture my life without him, we did everything together and not a day went by that we didn't see each other, I think about him as soon as i wake in the morning and all day long and he's the last i think of before I go to sleep, I desperately want and need him back. I need to know that he's with me and I always want to talk about him but I don't want to make others uncomfortable even to my kids, it hurts them to much, so I have to keep pretending that i'm ok and that everything will be fine and life will go on but I don't know how it will for me, I'm trying but I feel like my world is falling apart.
     
  2. WoodMan

    WoodMan Active Member

    I wish I could tell you something that would help you and make it all better. But I am right there with you. My wonderful wife and I were married almost 47 years. She died just eight weeks ago. Just this morning I’ve been crying a lot because I just don’t want to go on without her. I’ve been trying to do some things around the house but they all just remind me of her. Just as you stated, my wife and I did everything together, and made decisions together. I am going to counseling and it helps some but I cried on the way there and on the way home. Our children are grown so I am in this house all by myself and it is so very lonely. I’ve been begging for her to come back to me this morning. I do this on a daily basis it seems. I know it’s not possible but I wish it so much. Every little thing I do around the house I just say to her you’d be proud of me.
     
  3. I know you wish there were magic words that could make it better and thank you for reaching out to me. I'm sorry for the loss of your wife, but unfortunately there isn't anything anyone could say or do to help me from feeling the way I do, I've tried counseling and I even went to see a psychic/medium, it only brought me a little comfort, I try to keep busy but everything I do reminds me of him, I am surrounded by family and friends all the time but I still feel lonely, I don't know if I will ever stop feeling this way. I know what you mean when you say to your wife that she'd be proud of you, I say that to him all the time, my husband did alot for me so now that I have to do it alone, I always say the same thing but sometimes when I'm frustrated about something I can't handle I ask him to help me and I feel like he does because I eventually accomplish it. I like to think our loved ones are still around us, that they see us and give us signs, I'm a skeptic when it comes to that but it sometimes brings me comfort even for just a little while.
     
  4. Dianeo

    Dianeo New Member

    I lost my husband January 2017. I didn’t know that the world could be so lonely and dark. We were married 40 years and were together since we were kids. My children are grown and coping with the loss of their Dad. I hardly remember the first year after he died. I completely lost it. And the pain and sorrow remain. I wish I had the answers but I’m still seeking.