I lost my mom in August 2018

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Jessy1130, Feb 11, 2019.

  1. Jessy1130

    Jessy1130 New Member

    I lost my mom 8/15/18. 5 days after her 54th birthday. She passed away from cancer. It was 6 months of constant pain for her. I know she is relieved of that pain now, but I miss her so much.
    I have a lot of guilt..I have the feeling that I should have saved her and I couldnt. On the 15th, I had been with her at Hospice for two days, she was already unresponsive, but still breathing. Her husband came to sit with her while I went to go see my daughter for a little bit, as I hadnt seen her since I had been with my mom for a couple of days. On my way home, my tire went flat, so I needed my boyfriend to drive me back to my mom, bc I had planned to stay the night with her again. I knew her husband was with her and so I spent some time with my daughter and then took a shower. I was only gone from my mom for two hours, and just as we were driving up to the Hospice, they called to tell me she had passed away. Had I gotten there 10 mins earlier, I would have been there before she took her last breath. I should have never left her and I hate myself so much for not being there when she went.
    I am not sure how to get over the guilt for this, and maybe I never will. I know I should go to grief counseling because I feel so lost without her, even though I am 29. I just feel that counseling wont work for me because it seems to me that nothing will make this better.