I am new and don't know how to connect here

Hi, I am new and don't know how to connect with someone who can talk.

There are thousands of posts here and, because my eyes are filled with tears, I don't know where to start.

My mom died November 17th of last year. So, I made it through a solo Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, her birthday, my Dad's birthday (his first without her), so, I guess, she died in a way that I was able to get the major dates out of the way. I didn't realize that my dad's birthday would affect me as it did. Next us, Easter (my favorite holiday), their anniversary (which we share with my ex husband), and the one I am fearing the most (just because I didn't expect to be like this) Mother's day. Then, I get a few months off until my sister's birthday in August and mine in October.

So, I am thinking, well, hey, get this all done and the next ones won't suck. I was so surprised when my dad's birthday bothered me. I thought getting through Thanksgiving, Christmas and her birthday (which I did incredibly well) were going to be the tough ones. But, the unexpected ones are the worst.

 

I just started yesterday and have been reading and posting a good 6-8 of the past 24 hrs. Click on the make a connection tab, and fill in the particulars of your loss and you will see a number of threads with posts from people whose loss is similar to your own. As you read those posts, go to the profile page of anybody you think you would like to follow, to see more of what they have written. This part is not live, but I haven’t gotten to that’s the yet. I lost my Mom on MYbirthday in 2019, but I’m on the site after losing my wife on 3/14/21. The posts I have read have been very cathartic and helped me see that I am not alone in this ocean of grief. I hope you can get some help, some relief, some perspective, and some peace by what you find.

 

I fill in the particulars and get no matches.

 

Make sure you leave the user name blank. That way it searches for everyone meeting your criteria. Otherwise, I’m not sure.

 

Do you cry for no reason

 

Do you cry for seemingly no reason?

 

I cry because I lost my son. It can happen anytime.

 

Yes. but its not for no reason - its because my mind and body have not yet developed MEANING. In addition to that, its not like we are playing a board game where there is Pause and Procedure. I like to think that IF life were more board game ish ...there would be a support process for the trauma of grief....like don't pass GO, collect your financial products and service credits and proceed to the fork in the road where you will not have to live in the same surroundings you experienced the trauma. There would be Help that is appropriate for the bodily systems to equalize and become cohearant. without that, many of us wake up every day feeling like stuck in a simulation with no future. At least I have moved from waking up feeling like Jackie Kennedy crawling out of the back of the convertible. Stay focused as much as you can on what IS working ...tweeze out the celebrations where you were held .....by those coincidences, answers to questions you asked and to the circumstance of spirit that flows mysteriously but steadily thru and in our dimension of forms. Hadd2bu@hotmail.com

 

I cry at seemingly strange moments. I never know when i will get weepy but it is what it is. Of course it is my grief that bubbles up but what i hate is having to explain it so I try and not be around people. I have gotten up to leave a group of friend because I don't want to be pitied.