Hard Christmas / hard November & December

Its 12 months since my partner of 28 yrs, David, went to work & didnt come home. I am a grief & trauma specialist & it does not help. I have got through each day by bejng grateful for time we had together. He was everything to me. Such a big hole in my life & depite this I would want for everyone to have the love we had for each other. David died day after my birthday & so far I have got through his birthday, my birthday & 12 months since he passed. I will get through Christmas too. Just wish I didnt have too.

 

Their is definitely no time limit on grief. Everyday is a challenge. Holidays are sure rough. Praying for your strength so you get stronger with each passing day.

 

I’m so sorry for your loss. Holidays and birthdays anniversaries etc sure magnify the loss. We do get through each of those days but it’s not always pretty. I’ve found the lead up to special are worse then the actual day. We all just want our wonderful lives and love back. I wish you didn’t have to get through these days alone too. We push through because our loved ones would want us to. And we stay thankful for the time we had.
All the best to you and everyone here as we get over another hurdle.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. Holidays, birthdays and other special days are hard no matter how long it's been. I feel like I have to prepare myself to be able to get through those days. Sometimes it can be the littlest thing that sets off the spiral of grief, a favorite meal, an ornament, a piece of birthday cake. I try to hang on to all the beautiful memories that were made on those special days. Hope your days are filled with peace.
-Mary

 

I'm sorry for you loss. For everyone's loss.
I lost my husband of 23 yrs. about 14 months ago.

The holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays are hard. Some hit hard, some kind of slide by.
This year, we just lost my sweet son in law. My buddy. So it brings a fresh, raw pain.
The knot in my chest is the only thing helping me keep it together.

It's exhausting. I can't wait for the holidays to be over.

I hope things get easier for us all. We need peace.

I posted in multiple losses about my hard day today, if anyone wants to check it out.

Best Wishes to all!

 

Nice post. I’m glad you had each other.

 

My first holiday season without Michael. Empty. I also felt the anticipation of grief on the holiday and kept busy so I got through. Was not prepared for the crash on the day after. I spent most of the time alone at his house. I just want them behind me. Entering a new year without him is especially hard. Made him some New Years promises and am using that as motivation to stick to them. I do want my wonderful life and love back. I am planning on visiting his nephew tomorrow - they just found out they ar having a baby boy and I am secretly praying they name him after Michael in some way. Would be a phenomenal honor. The holidays have made me feel like I am backsliding in my grief. Some of the days are one minute at a time again. Working on it. I am looking for a local grief support group through the hospice center here. Praying still for all of us to have peace.

 

Holidays create such expectations in all of us & grief is two steps forward on good days & one step back on not so good days (though it can feel like ground zero again). You are allowed to feel sad, you are allowed to cry but no matter where each of us are in our grief, we feel what we feel because we loved someone who was special to us. It is okay to indulge ourselves, to feel whst we feel & then we gather our inner strengths, & we get through the day