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A Hurt Like No Other

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by JennyHunt, Apr 20, 2019.

  1. JennyHunt

    JennyHunt Member

    Hello! My name is Jenny and I just joined your community today in hopes of discovering some peace in sharing with folks that have been through similar experiences. At least this is what everyone tells me. They say go to a grief counseling group.. see a grief counselor... I just haven't been able to bring myself to do that quite yet. But a friend told me about this community and so I thought this may be an easier step in that direction for me at the moment.
    Tuesday will be 5 weeks since I lost my husband to a sudden massive heart attack. He had just turned 52 years old. He was my best friend, the love of my life. I miss him so much that I physically hurt most nights. I feel like I am in a nightmare and I just cannot wake up! Everyone says "Tine heals" "It will get easier"..... So far it gets harder and harder as each day passes. Loosing him was hard but learning to live without him seems impossible! I'm just not sure that my heart will ever heal from his absence. This is by far the worse pain I have ever experienced
     
    JennyHunt, Apr 20, 2019
    #1
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Jenny, I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are seeking help, I know it's never an easy thing to do.
    Five weeks is really no time at all when we're talking about a lifetime spent with a person - and the lifetime we still hoped to have.
    Time has a way of softening the hard edges of grief but only after a really long time has passed. In the beginning I would say most find it feels worse - the further we feel away from our loved one, the more time that has gone since we have seen them. Also, with time, the shock and numbness start to wear off and the reality starts to really settle in.
    I don't say any of this to frighten you but to simply validate that what you're feeling is very common and very much to be expected.
    Connecting with those who can truly understand, like the grievers you'll find here, can help. It's the reminder that you are not alone in this grief, and hopefully others can give you encouragement that (hard as it is to believe now) you can and will get through this.
    If you need any help navigating the site or connecting with others, please just let me know. We are here to help~
     
    griefic, Apr 25, 2019
    #2
  3. Ray G.

    Ray G. Well-Known Member

    Dear Jenny,
    I am really sorry for what
    you are going through. The
    16th of May will be two
    months my wife Sofia will
    have been gone. We were
    married for 1 year and 76
    days and had all kinds of
    great plans.

    Please know Jenny that I do
    know you are going through.
    You feel empty lonely and you
    keep asking,"Why?"

    Do not make any big changes
    for at least a year if that is
    possible and do not get rid of     his clothes. You will someday but
    there is NO hurry and you will
    know.

    I think that getting out in the
    day will be good for you cuz
    If u r in the house all day,
    that might not be good and
    You might feel antsy or some
    kind of anxiety.

    Maybe Hospice has a grief
    circle in the area where you
    live, like at a senior center.

    Jenny, I KNOW what you are
    going through.
     
    Ray G., May 13, 2019
    #3