Thank you Rose! My daughter did an awesome job of making my day special. The concert was just one of many things we did to try to keep things positive and as happy as possible. She got me some tangible gifts but she knows it’s the experiences and nature that make me smile. We celebrated over the weekend with a beautiful day on the beach, we visited a town on the water, walked in the shops and had a nice lunch over looking the water and seeing the boats and ferry. Those are the things I cherish. Even though they’re difficult to enjoy without the person who made he feel like the luckiest person alive, I know Ron is with me, and always will be. I also know he’s very proud of our daughter for all she does for me. She says and does things so much like her Dad that sometimes it feels like he’s speaking through her. It can stop me in my tracks and turn to look at her, I’ll tell her do you know how much you’re like your Dad. She’ll smile and shrug her shoulders and say I guess. She loves hearing that. James Taylor did perform “You’ve got a friend” ! It was magical. But yes brought me to tears. He also did a beautiful tribute to Jimmy Buffet. That made me cry too. Jimmy Buffet was a favorite of Rons. I had unite a few tears but I loved the show and so thankful my daughter gave me that special gift. I feel you and your “C” had a special bond like Ron and I had/have and it will live on forever. It’s sad how we can’t get our close family, friends to understand that this loss makes us feel broken. Thankful for everyone here, without this site I’m not sure how any of us would be doing. Thank you for the hug, I think we could all use a hug. Sending you peace, strength and a hug. Robin
Thank you so much Lou! I will say that my daughter made sure I had some smiles on my birthday. The concert was an awesome gift that I won’t forget. The beautiful orange moon was like a cherry on top or like the bow on a gift. You’ve shared about the funeral director playing You’ve got a friend in me and how touching it was for everyone. It’s like Linda let the director know this is the song to play for Lou. Still makes you cry as you think of that moment I’m sure but also so perfect. And James Taylor performed it at the concert. It felt like he chose that song fir me. The concept that seems impossible, happy mixed with sad still holds so true and always will I believe. Yesterday I seated home and enjoyed the warm sun, went in my pool and we had a bbq. All things Ron would have done for me. Over all I’d say I felt Ron’s presence and made it through the day. Now I need to heal from going through another birthday without my everything by my side. Thank you Lou. Robin
Robin, you hit a chord when you said your daughter "says and does things so much like her dad...". I get the same feeling with my daughter, all the time (my son does certain things too but he's also a lot like me). My daughter is all of her dad, in her ways, how she expresses herself, her determination, great communication skills, willingness to solve complicated situations, always ready to lend a hand, it's such a great comfort for me. In the way you describe your daughter, it sounds like both our daughters would really get on with each other if they could meet. You're so right Robin, we have all been blessed by this site, I can speak freely here more than I can with anyone else I know. I hope this Summer will continue as long as possible, so you can enjoy more relaxing days at the beach. Rose.
I appreciate the comforting words! Living on my own is much harder and exhausting than I thought it would be! Much love back!
I agree with you George, living alone is so much harder then it seems possible. And our minds aren’t in the best place so our thoughts wonder extra because there’s no distractions. I do feel I’ve come a long way from almost 5 years ago. It’s a million miles away from easy but things are going in the right direction for the most past. And I know how lucky I am to have my daughter who lives pretty close by and she visits me often. I do understand how you’re feeling, there’s no desire no purpose. Your art does make me smile every time and others too. So when you have the energy you are making your friends or TGW family smile. Life without our person is so hard. You’ll get there, you’re the strongest person I know. Keep trying. hugs and love to you George Robin
Summer. I feel a kinship with you bc Linda & Ron died about the same time almost 5 yrs ago. Like all of us, some days it feels like yesterday, and other days. like a long time ago. We miss our soulmates every day, in either case. I try not to worry about my lower functioning kidneys. I feared the dialysis that George has to undergo. In our private emails,he gave me tips on a new renal diet. If I stay with that and exercise (walking & fast dancing!),I MAY be able to avoid, or, at least delay dialysis. I see a nephrologist next month , and will ask him for.nutritional advice. I'm not much of a cook. so it's hard. People tell me I've lost weight, but not in a complimentary way. I try not to worry.....BUT, I wish Linda were here , physically, by my side when I see the doctor. My dream would be to have an Aunt Bea in my life ,who could feed me nutritious, delicious foods. I want that more than another relationship-- unless that woman can cook, too,like Linda did. Lou
George, Although I'm getting here very late, sending you the BIGGEST!!! cyber hug all the way from TUTTAMVILLE... I was teary eyed as I read this... Mr. G taking dragging me down memory lane, all the way back to the last 24 hours, of Bob's time on earth. No words of wisdom, no advice. It SUCKS!!!, two words say it all... Count me in as another one who feels guilty that I couldn't do anything to save Bob, even though rationally, like you, like all of TGW, we know it is NOT!!! our fault, TUTTAM!!! Guilt is such a useless emotion, but, and this is another one of those really BIG!!! BUTS!!!, so hard to ditch. Sending you lots more hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. Debanator and Skye Queen
Robin, HAPPY!!! VERY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! I love that your daughter took you to a James Taylor concert to celebrate your very special day. I'm trying to picture the theater on the ocean, the orange moon, while listening to one of my all time favorite artists... It must have been way beyond beautiful... A friend bought me my very first James Taylor album when I was in middle school. I used to listen to his music all of the time, and to this day, still love his music. After Bob had been diagnosed with kidney cancer, but before we knew how little time he was going to have left on earth, he surprised me with tickets to a James Taylor concert. It was a magical evening... I need a tissue... F*CK!!! Mr. G. and those miserable trips down memory lane. Life is so over the top bittersweet... Backing up a bit, I know, even though it isn't the same, Ron was with you and your daughter while you were enjoying the concert, so proud of you..., so happy for you..., knowing you are doing your very best, to enjoy life, in this totally twisted, mixed up, bittersweet world, we've been thrown into. As always, sending you, Teddy and Slinky, lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
Thank you so much Deb!!! And for sharing how James Taylor was/is a part of your life too. And how Bob surprised you with those tickets. A special memory but one that’s full of tears too. It all sucks big time!! But who doesn’t love his music. The concert was a big part of my birthday. I’m thankful is wasn’t on my birthday not sure if I could have done that. I cried throughout but it was a beautiful night I won’t forget. My daughter bought me dinner and we found a nice table on the boardwalk on the edge of the water. And she got me a tote bag with his name on it. She made it a special day. I wish I took a picture with the moon looking so beautiful. But I just took it all in. Thank you Deb, I’m trying so hard. There are smiles, there is sadness and also happy mixed with sad. But it used to be nothing but tears and sadness. Recently I was going backwards but I’ve evened out a little since then. This new life sure takes effort to keep going. We do it for our loved ones. That’s what they all would want. I have a doctor appointment later so I’m ending here to answer a few more posts from friends before I need to get ready. Thank you Deb! Hope you and Skye are doing well and taking care of each other. Our pets which are really family help keep us moving and give a purpose. ❤️ Robin
I feel our kinship too Lou. I recall when we each shared the date that each of our lives came crashing down on us, I was shocked yet it felt like, ok, Lou knows almost exactly what I’m feeling and vise versa. It did and does feel good to have someone who went through the devastation at nearly the same time. I certainly wouldn’t wish this on you but it has brought a close kinship between us. Lou, I’m sorry you’re going through this with your kidneys without Linda physically by your side. I know her presence would help you in many ways. Not only making you healthy food but emotionally as well. Like you and Linda, Ron and I always went to dr appointments together. My first appointment to my RA dr, he asked where Ron was. I burst out in tears that I was trying to hold in. Very thankful my daughter was with me. He has since retired and I go to new younger doctor. I miss my other dr though. Linda is with you like Ron is with me though. They’re trying to help us. It’s not the same but so glad I constantly feel his presence. I’m glad George has been helping you and giving you tips on your diet. I know it’s hard and you’re not much of a cook but you’re smart I’m sure you’ll figure it out. There’s no doubt in my mind that the dancing you enjoy is such a great way to stay active and will help with your health. We’re all with you as you go through this. Although not in person TGW are right there for you. Aunt Bea! Now that’s a fun wish. Those were the simple happy days weren’t they. Lou you’ll get through this and be stronger and healthier. And continue enjoying the music and dancing. Sharing what is causing anxiety is smart. Sharing is very helpful. How’s your weather? It’s brutally hot here after a cooler then normal August. Wish I was sitting on the beach enjoy the ocean breeze. Take care Lou, you got this. Summer
I agree Rose. I believe our daughters would become close friends if they could meet. My daughter has become my rock. She’s so much like her dad it’s uncanny. We saw it before but now it’s a new feel and it’s nice. All the things you mention about your daughter being like her Dad, that’s what I’m seeing and experiencing. She’s accompanying me to my dr visit today. I’m lucky to have her. I know that. Like you mentioned with your son my son does and says things like his dad too but not nearly as much as my daughter. My daughter is more like her dad and some like me, my son just the opposite, he’s more like me than his dad. He has his dads name though and I’m happy he’s a Jr. Our summer has exploded with super hot days. Hope it lasts a while and we can enjoy more beach days. I believe this site and all the wonderful people I’ve met on here has saved me. I’m forever grateful. God bless Rose. Robin
Thank you for your kind words, as always, Summer. When you said you burst into tears when your doctor asked where Ron was, it was I who burst into tears. It brought me back to the day that a guy we liked asked how my other half was. We were standing in the Post Office, and I broke down with uncontrollable sobs .I was fortunate that we were alone, & I was wearing a hat & sunglasses ,hiding my face. My friend did the right thing by putting his hand on my shoulder until I was done weeping. As for the weather, wish you were at the beach, too. That's not my thing now, like it was when I was a boy, but I feel blessed to walk by the ocean every day, and feel the breeze. On those really hot & humid days, with no wind, I sit in the shade, and drink plenty of water, the best thing for the kidneys. All I can do is pray to God that it's not my time "to go home", as Tom Zuba says, and to have my spirit somehow be reunited with Linda's. Lou
Robin, Rose, DEB, George, and all my Grief Warrior friends, I'm going to have to be MIA for a while, until I take care of my health & financial problems. I will still keep in touch with a few people off line, but I can't welcome new members or get too emotional with my close friends here. Take care, all of you. I will miss "talking " with you, but I have to do this now. Let go, let God. Lou
Lou, I'll miss hearing from you but I will keep in touch by email, don't worry if you don't have time to reply, I will understand. We are your best friends, we admire you and care about you here. Wishing you all the best and sending you a big virtual hug. A presto, John T. Rose.
Thank you the Deb! Grief is never easy or linear. At night and first thing in the morning my heart and soul feel like they are full of glass shards and gravel crunching together. 31 months later still so desolate and uncertain about my future... The insano-craziness of the world coupled with my emotional crisis are not a fine thing! Take care and much love from me to you and SkyQueen
Thanks Robin! I hope to summon some energy to do more art soon... I want to but it seems so hard. Everything is overwhelming and hard! I'm glad to have you as a friend! Take care and lottsa LOVE!
Lou, I understand, somethimes we have to change our focus, mentally and physically for our betterment. GIF are your family and friends that you can always, ALWAYS, count on. I too believe, Let go let God . I will stay in touch. God speed, Ms Hum, Karen
Ms. Hum, not completely MIA yet and just had to check GIC to see if anyone responded to my temporary goodbye. I'm grateful to see that you & Rose did so far. Both of you & a couple other Grief Warriors can communicate with me, via private email, texting, and , on rare occasions, by phone. You were the first one to welcome & comfort me over 2 years ago, but I feel a deep friendship with you even though we've never met. Please stay well & happy, Karen. I promise to keep dancing as long as I am able.......Lou T.
Lou, You’re doing the right thing. You need to put you first. What’s best for you is what you need to do. All of us support that and support you. You’re GIC family wish you nothing but the best. Sending you strength, peace, hugs and much love. As always you’re in my prayers, ❤️ Summer, Robin You got this!
