when he took his own life he saved mine

my boyfriend shot himself in the head on August 28 in front of me . im still having a hard time accepting this is real . The pain is unbearable and i dont want to feel like this. iam a cutter and burn myself at times i have not through this tragedy. ive always figured i didnt matter i wouldnt be missed much but Jesse made me realize im a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, neice , a good hearted friend . He saved my like when he took his own . This pain, this dark place im in i would never want to cause anyone and i want it stop . I wannt Jesse to come home

 

it replays over and over i tried to stop him i get a little closer each time

 

I'm so sorry Alicia. I hope you can get to the place where you forgive him, forgive yourself. It's not your fault, or even his. You both did the best you could do at the time. Hoping things get better for you.

 

Alicia,

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I pray that God will put his arms around you and carry you through this difficult time. I will keep you in my
and your boyfriend in my prayers.

 

Alivia -
What you are feeling right now must be horrendous. My husband died of illness this past spring, and I still picture him lying in the hospital bed, tubes everywhere, etc.after they'd been working to revive him and finally said that was it. I can't imagine what it must be like for you. Trust that you will not always feel this excruciatingly raw pain. The pain will never go away completely, but you can learn over time how to remember the good things about your life with your boyfriend without always replaying that awful event. It won't be easy, but you can do it. ((Hugs))

 

Alicia, I lost my husband 3 weeks ago. He took a handful of sleeping pills and drank quite a lot that night. I just don't know why he did it when he did. He was in a lot of pain from neck and back surgery. He said he couldn't live with the pain anymore. He had said that so many times that I really didn't think he would do it. But when I tried to wake him up in the morning, I couldn't get him up. Finding him the next morning is forever imprinted in my brain. I am still in shock. I just want my husband back.

 

So so sorry for your loss. I wish you love,courage, and strength to withstand the death of your loved one