What would you say if you could speak to me?

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by Charleesgrace, Jul 19, 2020.

  1. Charleesgrace

    Charleesgrace New Member

    It's crazy the thoughts you have sometimes. Last year at this time I was cleaning the incision on my hubby's head where he had brain surgery July 5th.
    Near the end of the journey. I didn't know if he knew he was dying. It drove me crazy. Married 43 years and I couldn't form the words. The hospice nurse ask and he said 'I'm dying' she ask if he was worried about anything and he said her, BROKE MY SHATTERED HEART!
    Would he say I'm doing O.K. His red pickup truck still parked where it sat, put all this on my mind.
    All through the journey he kept telling me I'm going to be O.K. And I do believe he's O.K. We, the ones left behind have to put puzzle pieces together and build a new normal.
    I do think I'm doing O.K. Still somewhat of a hermit. But Gosh Covid is going on. My girls worry I dont leave my home much.
    Grieve with hope and carry on.
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It is crazy the thoughts we have and the things that go through our mind. I’m glad the hospice nurse stepped in to help you with those questions.
    I lost my husband to a sudden and massive heart attack. There was no warning, he was “healthy” together 44 years and married 41 years. And taken from me in 2 hours. That was 20 months ago. Obviously that was the worst day of my life. We were together 24/7, owned and ran a business together, nothing from my life is the same.
    Even though we were both healthy we talked about how it would be for the person left behind. Ron would always tell me, the one who passes will be fine, it’s the one left behind who suffers. He was so right, I believe like you do that our husbands are ok, they live on through us, and will never ever be forgotten. And we need to keep pushing to make it to better days ahead.
    Like you, I tend to stay home, feels like my safe place. But I do go out and I work hard on my yard and get fresh air. I believe Ron is watching over me, and I still try hard to do things that will make him proud. I think the pandemic has caused things to be and feel so much worse for those of us grieving our loved ones.
    Be good to you, you deserve it.
    Countess Joy, BessFL and JMD like this.