What happens now?

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by W0lfman, Jan 17, 2018.

  1. W0lfman

    W0lfman New Member

    December of 2017 i lost my wife of 3 great years. After 2 previously failed marriages i had finally found the woman i was supposed to be with grow old with so i thought. Now i dont even know who i am anymore i cant seem to focus. I am starting to lose touch with people shutting in because i cant relate to them right now and i dont know who to talk to or what to do .
  2. Denell

    Denell New Member

    I am sorry. I can relate to how you are feeling. I too lost my husband and am still struggling. I just keep getting up everyday and try to function the best I can. I feel like I am behind a mask going through the day but not really seeing it. Please take care of yourself
    griefic likes this.
  3. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    That's such a big question for grievers - who am I now and where do I go from here? Our identities, our plans, and every part of who we are is attached to the people we've lost and for most grievers I find they don't know what life could even look like without that person in it.
    It's one of the tasks of grief, I suppose, to learn what life is now and how to live it.
    For most I find it happens just by doing it. When people say they don't know what to do, I often say there is nothing "to do" accept for whatever is right in front of you. Focus on the small tasks that will get you through the day. Even if it's just the basic small functions of eating, sleeping, working, resting. Not just one day at a time, but one small routine at a time and focusing only on what is right in front of you. It may not sound like much but it can be a very powerful tool in helping you put just one foot in front of the other as you make that journey forward.
    Being here is a huge step too and I'm so glad you've found us. Please let us know if we can be of further support or help to you. And please take care~
  4. W0lfman

    W0lfman New Member

    Ty for the advice im still trying to get a hold of that having trouble eating and sleeping but i struggle each day to get out of bed