Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Helena Beatriz, May 4, 2022.

  1. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    Getting here late... I can't even begin to imagine how over the top emotionally and physically drained you must be... You're doing everything you possibly can to take care of your mother. As difficult a decision, as heartbreaking as it is, your mother will be much safer in a nursing home. I'm positive your mother wouldn't want you to stop working, put your masters on hold, to take care of her. Sometimes reality just SUCKS!!!, TUTTAM!!!

    Sending you zillions of hugs, lots of love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB & Skye
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  2. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Could be! Abstract leaves it up to you it is quite interactive in that respect!
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  3. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    Weekend Art?

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  4. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    My gosh you did this -- fantastic. Karen
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  5. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're going through all that. I hope you're still able to work and get your masters but I understand putting your mom first. I pray for both of you strength as you go through all.this.
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  6. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

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  7. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    sOME sUNDAE aRT !!!
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  8. Deborah A.

    Deborah A. Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much Deb. Mom doesn’t want that, but she’s so depressed right now, because she believes that she’s going to die in this place. I’m not sure that she’s wrong. Unfortunately it’s the nature of life that we often need so much more help in the end. Selfishly, I don’t want anyone else to die. I’m putting my master’s on pause for a semester because I want the time to spend with her. Time with the people we love is the most precious gift we have. I’m also grateful that I can come here and express my sadness over losing my mom. It does seem sometimes that we lose people a little bit at a time while we watch them gradually lose their strength and their memories. That’s something I don’t think I will ever get used to. I’m grateful for this group of people who are willing to listen to me. This is life—the cost of love.
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  9. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Wednesday art!
    92423SeaScapeNoon.jpg 92523Ambiumn.jpg
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  10. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Beautiful! I always look forward to your art George.
    Been a bit quiet on the home front!
    I've got lots of stuff going on, too. Starting to teach English to little Italian kids, soon. Hope I'll still be up to it!
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  11. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I'm so sorry!!! When I reread what I said to you, I couldn't believe how cold and uncaring it sounded, TUTTAM!!! I don't know what I was thinking, because I can't imagine being in your shoes, and not doing what you're doing. As I've said so many times in the past, when it gets right down to it, all that really matters is the relationships we have with others, the love we share..., all the rest is just icing on the cake. You said it best when you said, "Time with the people we love is the most precious gift we have. You and your mother are very lucky to have each other...

    Sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace, all the way from TUTTAMVILLE DEB & Skye
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  12. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    Love your latest creations!!!, TUTTAM!!! Thank you for brightening a very gloomy day in TUTTAMVILLE. I've been dealing with lots of "garbage" the past week. I was optimistic that things were finally going to go much more smoothly, but as we all know too well, the best made plans don't always go the way we expected them to.

    I'm not comfortable "talking" about the "garbage," because although I love TGW, our GIC "family," it's impossible to know who might be lurking... All I feel comfortable saying is that I made a promise to Bob, and keeping it is one of the most difficult, over the top, challenging, emotionally draining things, I've had to do since he transitioned. If I let it, I know this "garbage" could suck the life right out of me, but I REFUSE!!! to let it!!! I CAN!!! and WILL!!! DO!!! THIS!!! for Bob!!!

    Thanks again for sharing more of your beautiful creations with us, for the smiles...

    As always, sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace, all the way from TUTTAMVILLE Debanator & Skye Beast
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  13. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Glad you liked the art! I've been trying to be more creative and "better" lately... It is not at all easy! Every day is a hard challenge. I just try so hard to focus on my immediate situation... no past/no future it just is as it is... I dunno if that makes any sense... We have to do it because there is no other choice really..
  14. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    My kind of art.... garden bounty.
    October is around the corner and the rain has begun in the Pacific Northwest.
    The calendar had barely turned it's page on the 2nd of November 2 years ago.
    Autumn is a tricky time now.

    Attached Files:

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  15. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Nice to "see" you Bernadine. Those tomatoes are lovely! You're lucky to still have so many, at the end of September. We had a few very chilly, rainy days last week, Autumn popped in way too early. Now it's a little warmer. Our Summers used to last much longer, too, at least until mid Oct!
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  16. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I'm so sorry you're struggling so much... It SUCKS!!! Sending you a GIANT!!!, virtual hug, all the way from TUTTAMVILLE...

    All we have is the present, the past is behind us, and the future is in front of us. I think living in the moment, doing the best we can to make the very best out of where we are now, not thinking about all the "should haves, would haves, could haves," not stressing over all the "what if's" that haven't yet happened, is an excellent strategy.

    Way too many times Mr G. drags me down memory lane where all those "should haves, would haves, could haves" exist... I become trapped in guilt, one of the most useless emotions there is, TUTTAM!!! Other times, I try to look into the future, and end up imagining all the negative "what if's." My mind becomes flooded with fear, fear over "what if's" that probably won't even happen. Fear of the unknown doesn't serve any useful purpose. All it does is trash what might have been a good day, and makes it impossible for me to get any quality zzz's at night.

    Living in the present allows me to enjoy a beautiful sunrise, or sunset, all the beauty God created that surrounds us, it allows me to see the world through Skye Karma's eyes... where every day is filled with new and exciting adventures, the littlest things bringing her so much joy. It allows me to be fully present and enjoy lol moments sitting outside, enjoying a beautiful late afternoon with neighbors, and at the same time to be fully present when in the middle of a heart to heart conversation with a friend. It allows me to fully experience and enjoy all the little things, the things in life that money can't buy... a rainbow after a downpour, egrets still as statues, waiting patiently for their next meal to swim by, a cool breeze on a hot day, the sound of birds as the world slowly wakes up... etc, etc, etc...

    I agree with you. We have to keep on keeping because we don't have a choice. This reinforces that I need to do my best to live in the present, and enjoy all the lighter moments, in this crazy over the top, f*cked up, bittersweet world, we've been thrown into.

    Keep on keeping... Keep on creating... You've got this!!!, TUTTAM!!!

    As always, sending you zillions more hugs, lots of love, wishing you peace, all the way from TUTTAMVILLE DEB & Skye Karma
  17. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    It's nice to "see" you. I've been thinking about you, praying you're okay... I LOVE!!! your kind of art. I wish I could jump through the picture and taste those over the top, delicious veggies.

    Autumn is also a difficult, challenging time for me too. It used to be my favorite time of year. Now the cooler weather, shorter days, reminding me that the holidays are just around the corner, are filling me with a kind of sadness that will always be with me. Bob and I met in the fall, went on our first weekend getaway in the fall, got married in the fall... I could go on and on and on, but will stop here. I know you "get" it. This bittersweet existence really SUCKS!!! at times, TUTTAM!!!

    Sending you and Maggie Joy, lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB & Skye Karma (variety is the spice of life!)
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  18. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Well if that isn’t beautiful I don’t know what is. I’m having nothing but rain all week too and very cool for this time of year. More rain coming tonight. I’m already missing the warmth of summer. But your beautiful bounty takes me back. Love it!!
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  19. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Deb I so understand your thoughts on the fall and the memories and special dates. For Ron and I it was in the spring. We met in the spring, first date, married in the spring. So bittersweet now. And like you the fall makes me think of the holidays too and how special and full of life that time used to be. Now it’s more melancholy then anything else. My last time shopping with Ron was in Walmart in the fall with everything decorated and beautiful for the holidays. To this day Walmart during the holidays especially in November when Ron passed, it brings me to tears. Life sure became hard for all of us. Take today for example, our mechanic retired. My car needed to be inspected and an oil change. Going to someone new just put me over the edge. It’s silly, but change has become so difficult. And now I need to find someone to take me to pick my car up. Once I get it back home I’m hoping to put this behind me and realize it went fine it’s just different.
    Wishing you and Skye, much love, peace and strength.
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  20. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    WOW George, so beautiful! You’ve made me smile again. I understand it takes a lot of energy and pushing yourself to bring out the creative you. It’s hard I know. I hope you realize that sharing your art is such a wonderful thing. For you and all of GIC. I can sew and it’s part of what I did in our upholstery shop with Ron. I have our industrial sewing machine in my basement I have 2 regular sewing machines in my craft room. I can’t sit at them and create anything. I just can’t. Possibly one day but not now. Kudos to you George for pushing and creating!
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