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Wednesday ART THERAPY

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Helena Beatriz, May 4, 2022.

  1. Deborah A.

    Deborah A. Well-Known Member

    It’s crazy how fast it all goes. And yet it seems like forever (4 years!) since Steve was here. I am glad we were able to get to some of the historic stadiums in our travels, but never Yankee Stadium. Sorry if I offend anyone, but I am not a Yankee’s fan. Quite the opposite!! Don’t get me started about those Yankees. But I’m grateful for the beautiful weather here, the neighbors’ dogs who seem to love me, my cats, my lawn mower that is still running and my home and my job. I’m so incredibly grateful for our family and our boys and grandkids. And I am grateful for each person here who reminds me that life is for the living. I’m trying to live it fully and live as well as Steve would. He was just better than I am at everything. But I muddle along. Thank you, all of you here for being a welcoming crew. You are all helping me to keep going! Hugs and comfort! ❤️
     
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  2. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Deborah, you're so right. Time goes so fast, it's been two and a half years now without my C, I just can't believe that, for me it's like it just happened yesterday. It will always be that way, grief is timeless. Actually, the more time passes the more it hurts, I think I'm going crazy at times when I tell him it's about time he came back, he's been away too long, I can't wait any longer, missing him so much. I'm like you, he managed everything better than me, at first I thought I could handle looking after our property alone, but now I look around and I just see everything falling to bits, the shed door is 'hanging by a thread', so many things need fixing, we never needed to call anyone, my C mended everything himself. With all this rain, the grass and weeds are almost taller than me! I'll have to call our friend handyman to do that job again this summer, but there is so much more to do, I would need to hire him every day, I can't do that!
    Anyway, sorry to burden everyone with my moaning, I just wanted to vent a little with my friends.
    Have a good Sunday, please send me some warm sunshine if any of you are lucky to have some.
    Rose.
     
  3. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Rose never think that you are burdening us. Its just like yousaid you were venting among friends. We all understand where you are coming from. I have some things going on that I have to call someone else to check out for me too. I wouldn't have to if GANT was here. Me and friend talk about that all the time. So I definitely understand. Someone just cut my grass maybe a week ago and its already growing back. I was cutting it myself but my lawn mower played out. Its a little hard to do anyway trying to keep an eye on the kids. We all get out and pick up sticks and stuff out the yard. I agree it just seem like its time for them to come home now. I'm sorry you still dealing with the coolness even though I'd rather be cold than hot any day. Im sure thats a different type of cold you dealing with. Sending you a virtual hug and praying for your strength as conquer whatever comes your way.
     
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  4. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for your kind words, Sweetcole, I appreciate your empathy and everyone else's here too.
    Sending you a big hug, and to your kids too.
    Rose
     
  5. Deborah A.

    Deborah A. Well-Known Member

    Rose~ you have painted a picture that is so familiar to me. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. It’s a relief (if I may quote Deb) TUTTAM! to know that I am not the only one who is feeling these things. I’m embarrassed by my house, my yard, my attitude, everything! Knowing that you’re going through this helps me to feel a little bit normal, which I never feel anymore. So PLEASE vent. Thank you for venting. If it weren’t for your venting, I’d be sitting here feeling much more alone than I do now. Now I feel like I’m on this journey and doing the best that I can, and you are doing the best you can. We’re muddling through together, with the tall grass, broken doors and lonely Sundays. You made my day better by sharing your struggles. Thank goodness, in the end, we humans who are willing to share still have each other! Thank you so much for making me feel less alone and less lonely. We will get through this one day and one door at a time. Hugs and comfort! ❤️
     
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  6. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    Hi Lou, thanks for the acknowledgment. May is two-thirds gone.... it's hard, our anniversary is 6 months from Kenn's death date. That's a weird way to be aware of time. One and a half years feels surreal. It's too long ago and not long ago.

    I'm so sporadic about checking in here the last few months, it's hard to keep track of what everyone is doing. Hooray for pets and moms, new adventures and apartments and dancing with friends.
    ~Bernadine
     
  7. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Rose and Debra may I join you. Rose I'm in the exact situation you described as Deb is too.
    Everything is falling apart since Jack died. He was my handyman, could fix anything. I'm using tape to fix broken things, my facets leak. So I only use one facet. Broken boards on the deck, I just put a rug over them and walk around them. Weeds, weeds, hire out 3 times a summer. I don't buy anything for myself, it goes to this property. Massive tree damage from storms. Oh, to scream, rats got in my engine, chewed wires, for the tune of $1000. I. Better quit here.
    I wonder why things happen that have never happened before happens when our spouses are gone. I call myself unisex half woman half man now and I don't like it one bit. Do you hear me God? Thanks for reading. We are strong, we will survive.
     
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  8. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    Furnace filters, conversations with neighbors, oil changes.... of course I Can do them, but if you hear back from God let me know what he says!
     
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  9. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    It's really good to see you on
    here, this Sunday night,
    Bernadine. As I've mentioned on
    GIC before, I prefer to remember
    Linda's birth date , rather than
    her death date. I see signs of her
    birth date, when I look at my
    watch, for example. I just know
    that like Robin's husband, Ron,
    Linda died right before
    Thanksgiving, 2018, but the
    actual date of her death , is
    receding in my memory, on
    purpose. Music and dancing
    with women friends ( but no
    one girlfriend) has made me
    feel happier, and I'm told, look
    younger. Linda told me to
    promise to try to keep healthy,
    & even happy , if anything
    happened to her, and I'm
    trying to fulfill that promise.
    But, on alternate Wednesdays,
    I take part in a widowed
    persons support group, bc I can
    still cry, especially the beginning
    of the week, when there's no
    dancing. It is part of who I am.
    which is why I jokingly call
    myself Lou Travolta.
     
  10. Georgine

    Georgine Well-Known Member

    Rose,

    I saw the attached headline and photo on the front page of yesterday's Wall Street Journal and thought of you and your posts about the flooding. I hope and pray that you receive a good dose of sun --- fast. The photo is heartbreaking. I hope that the owner and her dog are doing better.

    I spent this weekend in a spiritual retreat. Some individuals who attended had spouses who did not attend with them. Yet, the spouses who did attend - whether they were widowed or alone - radiated joy and gratitude for blessings they have received. The stories of physical and emotional healing were unbelievable. It made me realize how blessed I have been, but it also instilled in me a desire to pray more -- for when I do, the peace that ensues is comforting. I lack my husband. I would give anything to see him walk in the room. Just like you, Rose, in your taking extra care of the plants that your C loved, I take extra care of those plants outside which Pierre cherished. And, this week, after all the rain here in South Carolina, I will be outside weeding, weeding, weeding and pruning the roses which he loved.

    The only thing that I can say with respect to all of us is that God does hear us. I know this from personal experience. Each time that I have cried out to God in my grief, I am made to feel better quickly after my sorrow is expressed. God has led everyone here to be comforted by each other. He knows each and every one of us The sensitivity of every surviving spouse on this site is matched only by the great love which resides in each one's heart.

    Georgine
     
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  11. Georgine

    Georgine Well-Known Member

    Photo attached.
     

    Attached Files:

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  12. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    That picture really touched us too, there are videos of poor horses swimming desperately through those muddy waters, I hope they made it. In fact now, many rescuers are concentrating on looking for lost animals and pets, who have hopefully found a hiding place where they're waiting to be found. :(
     
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  13. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    I would like to know if He has anything to say, too! I'm still waiting for an answer.
     
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  14. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    I understand what you mean about being unisex, I feel like that too. Yesterday morning, I said to myself enough is enough! It wasn't raining, yet the sky didn't promise much, I could see that little ray of sunshine wouldn't last long, so I put on my country shoes, got out my skythe( is that what it's called?) and spent all morning cutting down tall grass and weeds, at least to reopen my pathway which had been completely closed by that horrid stuff! I felt like Indiana Jones, or Michael Douglas in those 80s adventure films, in jungle settings! I wear an Indie-style hat too while working, the only difference is that I'm not on a treasure - hunt unfortunately!
     
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  15. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    So glad to be able to share my daily turmoil with you Deborah, and all GIC members, knowing I will be understood, and not judged. I am here to listen to your venting whenever you want to, we are all here for you. This is our safe, comfort nest.
     
  16. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Lou, the same way that your dancing is now your "Grief outlet", I've been back on my piano and singing out loud, during these infinite rainy afternoons. If I can't get my nature therapy outdoors , then my music therapy indoors comes to my rescue. I can actually feel my emotions being released while I sing/cry out my pain.
    Keep dancing J. T.
     
  17. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Rose, I LOVE that you're
    singing as loud as you

    can, as a release from the anger
    and sadness of grief, just like I've
    been dancing like a maniac, for
    those reasons, but also out of
    fear for
    my own death. I'm not ready for
    my spirit to rejoin with Linda's
    just yet. I joked with friends that
    when God says it's my time to
    go,that if it can't be done naturally in my
    sleep, I"d like it to be on the
    dance floor, with my female
    partners above me, like angels.I always get a laugh. One
    morning, I saw a video of John
    Travolta in Saturday Night
    Fever, and he was dancing to
    the rousing "Stayin' Alive", and
    I thought, by God, that's me.
    Lou Travolta
     
  18. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Hope this works...

     
  19. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Oops sorry, didn't realise the first part was a bit????!!!!
     
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  20. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Wow, Rose, thank you!! Not only
    did you give me a video / audio
    clip of Travolta from the disco
    era, you gave me other songs,
    like "Sonny", danced by a female
    group to a disco beat. In the
    spirit of there's no such thing
    as coincidences, Linda and I
    met the man who wrote and
    sang that song, which was a
    one hit wonder. He lived for a
    while in our small town, and I'm
    grateful that Linda & I got to
    meet him before he died. His
    name was Bobby O. Hebb. L.T.
     
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