Wednesday ART THERAPY

Gary, thank you for your comments on my photos, you're right about the serpent-looking one. I'm starting to observe the forms of the clouds more and comparing them to objects or human figures. My C and I used to watch a daily TV talk-show in the mornings, while we were having our coffee, where the weather forecaster invited the public to send him photos of unusually-shaped clouds which resembled something. We were always tempted to join in but never got round to doing it. Now I can't even watch that programme anymore without my C beside me, it's just too heartbreaking. I can't watch anything that we watched together. I just choose films and TV series on Amazon Prime and ignore the TV normal schedule.
The legend you told about the woodpeckers is wonderful, kept me in suspense while reading through your post.
We have woodpeckers here but not cardinals and I've just looked up male cardinals on Google and that bright red color is absolutely amazing.

Lou, I haven't heard a referral to Rip van Winkle in ages, I remember that story, shall we add that to your nickname?
The Godfather Don Rip Van Lobster, or perhaps it could be just your 'winter' name, as we all seem to be in a lethargic, hybernating mood all together, during these long dark days. Warriors need to rest every now and then too, don't they? I'm sorry you and Linda didn't get to visit Italy, my C and I used to imagine together how it would have been wonderful to go on a coast-to-coast trip of the States. Will remain a dream.

Rose.

 

Rose, just woke up after another 10 hour
record breaking sleep, and read your
post to Gary and me. I laughed at your
additions to my nicknames. I think I
remember that when I overslept, Linda
affectionately called me "Rip". You're
welcome to call me that, bc trying to
combine the ever growing list of names
would be a daunting task. Rip

 

we're not just grieving warriors
we're living in the complexity and beauty of life
Wintering
that seems to fit a lot of us right now....
~B

 

I miss those lovely nights when I would arrive home, and Steve had supper bubbling on the stove. He would have a bottle of wine and a movie cued up. ❤️ I was so lucky.

 

Thanks Rose for the double LMSO (laugh my sad off) in regards to our Godfather’s amended nickname. Adding the Rip Van is excellent. Bravo! Gary

 

Garbear, our witty younger , Lombardo,
started the nickname craze, which has
been a welcome distraction for our
grief: Debster, Ms. Hum, and the
latest , for me, Rip, keeps the wheels
turning. We owe it all to our creative,
humorous younger brother, George, Rip

 

Wintering
that seems to fit a lot of us right now....
— Yes. Thank you for sharing this. It eases things for me.

 

I get you Deborah. I miss getting up at 7:20AM, Jack always got up at 6 and had the heater going the fire lite in the woodstove, coffee made and fed the cats. I told him he's spoiling me, but I love it.
We do miss those times don't we?.

 

I seem to slip back into memories. I smile, cry, and then feel so special to have had Tom for a husband. During the time we were together I just took each day for granted that it would go on to infinity. I know that seems so ridiculous but it was the way it was. We talked all the time, made decisions together, laughed, drank wine and so enjoyed each others company. We spent each day together and never searched for more, we had it all. Until we didn't.
Janiceanne

 

Janiceanne, your moving words, "We
spent each day together and never searched for more, we had it all. Until
we didn't",made me gasp,bc it captured
why I cry out to Linda every morning. As
I've said here before, it's been 4 years
since Linda's death, and, on some days,
it seems like we were talking with each
other yesterday. Thank you for your
eloquent insight for all us Grief Warriors.
Lou

 

Thank you Gary. This 'nickname searching' adds a little humour every now and then, which we really do need to help us through our hybernation or more appropriately called our 'Wintering', referring to B's post.

Rose

 

Perfectly expressed Janiceanne. Couldn't have said it better.
Rose

 

Yes, Lou, that's right. For me too, I feel like I was talking to my C just yesterday. I talk to him all the time now (only when I'm alone, though), as if he's still here, commenting on situations, asking for advice and suggestions. The emptiness that his absence has created just seems to get deeper as time goes by. If I've coped until now it's thanks to him, I am what I am because of the time we spent together being married to each other. He made me a better person and my one fear is that I will now go into regression, but on the other hand, I know my C will always pick me up again when I stumble, like he always has done.

Wishing you all a peaceful Sunday.

Rose.

 

Rose if you regress it will only be for a short period of time. I have left GIC as long as 5 weeks before I found my way back. I have left for 2 weeks and returned also. Sometimes I don’t want to hear or see anything about grief. That is ok. We have to dose ourselves with grief like medication. Sometimes solitude is the best solution. I was at a 12 step recovery grief meeting last night where several people spoke about dreams of their beloved. An aunt who has been unkind to me over the years because I didn’t conform to their southern Baptist beliefs is having major health problems. I dreamt we were in the hospital together to support another family member. We ended up sleeping in the waiting room together and shared our deepest feelings. Deceased relatives began coming to life in the dream. I heard there voices coming down the hallway to the waiting room. When woke up I felt my aunt had transitioned last night. I felt a lighter heart and more at peace about our relationship. I also feel the reality of connecting with our beloved. Also last night a friend sent me a text that Cheryl had visited her in her dreams. At certain times the supernatural seems like a normal part of our lives. Gary

 

Gary, your words about dreams are
both moving and beautiful. As I've said
here before, I still have vivid dreams of
talking with Linda, when she sat in her
chair in the living room of our apartment,
before she had to go into the hospital,
which turned out to be the beginning of
the end of Linda's life on earth. I'm
determined not to let a very cold,
blustery , gray Sunday ruin me. I can
hear an angry ocean nearby, but I'm
listening to Merle Haggard's song: "Are
the Good Times Really Over?", for solace.
A friend is going to drive us to a coffee
shop, and then, see the wild surf at
different beaches. As long as I have my
health, I don't want to be sedentary, a
shut in, and depressed, like poor Linda
became. I realize now that Linda was
doomed , bc of a vicious cycle of
illness and depression. I choke back the
tears, bc I recall when she turned to me
sadly one day, to tell me that the only
reason she was hanging on, was bc of her
love for me. Alas, that wasn't enough, and
as Tom Zuba says, it was time for Linda
to go, or , as Gary eloquently puts it.
transition to the spiritual world. I often say, softly, to Linda in the early morning hours,
or when I go to sleep at night, that our
spirits will be reunited someday. Lou

 

We do miss those times don't we?


I sure do. As much as I am aware of moving forward, I am also often keenly aware that the loss and the missing that person eases but doesn’t end. Thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences. ❤️ Hugs and comfort to all of you!

Deb (Deborah A.)

 

Garbear, something strange happened. When I turned on the computer at the top of my screen was Kathy Curtis Ink, Invisible Ink. I know you have spoken about her book as helping you connect with Cheryl. I have never been on her site nor subscribed. How funny it just came up. Maybe a sign.

 

I am happy to hear that others have had this experience! I have had some “lucid” dreams where I was hugging Steve. It felt so real. He looked healthy, healed and young again. It was powerful, and I wanted more.

 

I could be a sign Mrs Hum. Cathy Curtis has a YouTube video and also does one with Tom Zuba. Gary

 

I've always been hopeless at drawing/painting. So I've been doing some "Craft therapy" instead, and I thought I'd share with you the finished product, a miniature house made from a DIY home kit. A real mind-soother, stress release, for these dreary, cold, winter afternoons and evenings when I can't spend time doing odd jobs outside.
Looking forward to George's colourful art to brighten up our days.
A hug to you all and a very peaceful Sunday to everyone.
Rose.