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Wednesday ART THERAPY

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Helena Beatriz, May 4, 2022.

  1. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    Good Morning my dear warrior friends, today is our Wednesday therapy art. My drawing is based in pointillism or dotted art which is the ability of the eye and mind. This process helps me with my meditation keeping me positive to continue moving forward. Helena
     

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  2. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Rose,

    As usual, I'm not reading messages in the correct order, but I can relate to so much of what you just said. It SUCKS!!! The ice maker in my refrigerator isn't working again. I need to watch another You Tube video, but so far, all I've done is cry... The other day I needed to refill the windshield cleaner and couldn't get the hood open. The hood latch on this car is the worst one I've ever had to deal with. Those tears began flowing. My next door neighbor saw me struggling with the hood, and immediately came over, popped the latch. Sad to say, I don't know how to fill the tires with air. It gets done when I go for an oil change, but I know I need to learn how to do this. I know I CAN!!! do these things!!!, but, and this is another one of those really BIG!!! BUTS!!!, it SUCKS!!!
    It feels so wrong...

    I "get" you not being able to sell C's car. There are things in the garage, a/k/a, Bob's man cave, that I can't sell even though there is no way I'm going to use any of them. I think about this every time I go into the garage. I can't part with certain things because as irrational as it is, I feel like I would be losing another piece of Bob. As sad as these things make me, I feel comforted having them there at the same time. Robin said once that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. If we have things that belonged to C, Ron, and Bob, and for whatever reasons, we want to keep them, it's okay. I agree.

    Robin, if you read this, I hope by now, you're feeling much better!!! I'm still not caught up around here, but I'm tired and putting away my chrome book for the evening.

    As always, sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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  3. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Deb, you sound just like me. I feel as if I would be losing my C even more if I sell his car or any other personal belonging, as if I manage to 'hold on' to a part of him by keeping them with me. Then again my FIL says that if I want to honour him, I shouldn't leave his car, motorbike and tractor just lying there wasting away. I understand also his point of view, but my heart just says NO! I wash the car every now and then even if I still can't go inside it, like you said in the other thread I've just replied you to, about not being able to go into certain rooms of your house. My daughter has been keeping the engine running every now and then, but the other day she sadly said to me that the battery had gone. Sobs, of course. You're right Deb, don't part with anything if you don't want to, I suppose it's a bit like hanging on to a piece of string to stop us falling down.
    Take care.
    Rose
     
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  4. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Rose, I’m sorry, I somehow missed this post. First, thank you, my pulled muscle is doing so much better. Every single thing you mention, hits home with me. Going in his tool shed, is so hard. When I had to close our shop it took me a long time to move the last tools he used. I knew exactly what he worked on last and where he was working. I’m doing so many things that I learned from Ron but he would never want me doing. I had bought Ron a chain saw with a long pole, shortly before he passed. It’s battery operated, my daughter and I use that and the hedge trimmer regularly. I cant use the gas one. I understand not being able to sell C’s car, it’s ok. Keep it as long as you need. I can’t sell Ron’s truck either. I’ve had to replace the battery in his truck and recently had to jump it again. It’s running perfectly again. But both my brothers who are mechanics, told me I need to actually drive it at least once a week. They told me running it is good but it really needs to be driven. Im just sharing what they told me. I have an alarm set on my phone and I’m now driving it once a week. I think you should try to charge the battery. Or jump it. I bet your son, I think I recall you have a son, sorry if I’m wrong. I bet he could get the battery out to take it to be charged and tested. Just be careful, check you tube for the right way to take it out. I love that your daughter took on the job of starting her dads car. Our kids sure come through for us. My daughter is the best support I could ever want. My son too but he’s supporting from a distance, which somehow he does and helps so much. I had such guilt using Ron’s pickup to empty our business. The first person to sit in it was me and I drove it first, through so many tears with my daughter beside me. But then al the sudden his truck was a good feeling, like it was holding me, hugging me. I needed that. It’s not always like that when I get in but more times then not it is. A few times I let my daughter use his truck because her car was getting worked on and when I would look out and his red truck wasn’t there it gave me a start. I need Ron’s truck, it feels like a piece of Ron is still here. My brother offered to buy it, nope, not happening. It’s a lifeline that I need. And you do too. I hope you can get his car running without it becoming too big of a job. Last year I had to put money into it when it went for inspection. I did it without hesitation, I had to. I’ve repaired a lot of fence since Ron has passed and you had to paint the railings, somehow in the end it’s an accomplishment and feels good. And we’ve done so many things we would never have done, too many to list.
    I’m adding rose pictures from the memorial garden I made for Ron. The yellow roses were all eaten by a deer the next night. It’s coming back though with one rose blooming now. In between the rose bushes is the first air compressor Ron bought for our business back in 1978. We kept it and it moved with us each time we needed a larger space. It’s the center of the garden. Ron would love that. Rose, good luck with C’s car I hope it works out for you if you decide to try to get it running. You and your children can do it, I know you can. ❤️ Robin
     

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  5. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Hi Robin, thank you for your post, so delighted to hear from you and glad that you're better now. Yes, you remember well, I have a son and a daughter, both in their twenties.
    You and I really do have similar lifestyles, your place sounds so much like ours, only that we are not near the sea. I remember the first time I had to go into our tool-shed to fetch something I just broke down, couldn't stop sobbing. Just like you, there are so many things that we can do on our own now, only because my beloved C taught us. He was a real 'do-it-all', fixed everything himself, we never had to call a plumber, electrician, or other tradesmen that we now need to call, sadly. You are so right about the car needing to get on the road, we will have to do that sooner or later, don't think it will be me though, just still too painful. We haven't done this yet also because we have two other smaller cars that we three use and they are easier to get around in, especially going into town in all that traffic. I will get my son to restart the battery with jump leads, luckily it's parked outside in our private yard.
    I'm sorry you had to close your business you both ran together. My C was in the medical profession but he always said how lovely it would have been if we could have owned a private business together, in fact, in Spring we would spend a lot of time together taking care of our land, planting veggies, chopping down old trees for firewood and in Autumn (when it's a good year), picking olives from our olive trees to produce our olive oil. My C did most of the work, though. I do miss all that, I remember how we used to complain at times about how tiring this work was, oh how I would love to be able to complain like that again!
    If I remember well, Robin, you mentioned your business was a hardware shop. That's my C's favourite type of store and he loved spending time strolling around the hardware departments when we visited our local shopping center. I used to tease him jokingly, saying that he owned more tools than you'd see in a hardware store. A few months ago, when I needed to buy some work gloves, I went to the store we often visited together (I had been putting it off), thankfully I had my face mask to hide most of my face because I can't describe how heartbreaking it was for me and how difficult it was to hold back the tears. I remember walking down the aisles as fast as I could, buying only what I needed and hurrying out of the store.
    Your roses are beautiful Robin, lovely colours, your Ron loves you for this, even though that hungry deer ate the yellow ones. Pleased to hear they are blooming again, just like your love you share with your Ron will always be blooming for you, in your heart.
    Big hug to you, take care.
    Rose.
     
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  6. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    This morning laying in bed I though how can we mix our grieving with some humorous quotes, poems, funny stories, cartoons to spice our grieving lives, after all we still here and hope TW like and also contribute too so we can move forward!


    HUMOROUS POEMS

    As I lay cozy, all snug in my bed,
    I enjoy the imagination inside my head
    until I hear racket beside my bed,
    It's my 5:00 alarm!

    I quickly silent you, you annoying alarm.
    Then we SNOOZE together and let dreams carry on.
    Enjoying the peace, then I'll be darned;
    It's me 5:15 reminder!

    Now I hush the ringing of my reminder.
    Ok Alarm, let's put that behind us.
    Eyes just shut, but here goes that time
    It's 7:20. I'm late!!!

    DEAD IS DEAD

    When somebody dies, folks hardly ever say "dead."
    They prefer "expired" or "departed" instead.
    Most of the euphemism don't do any harm,
    Like "biting the dust" or "buying the farm."

    There are "fallen ff the perch" and "given up the ghost."
    "Taking a dirt nap" is one I like most.
    "Kicked the oxygen habit" and "gone offline"
    Are a couple favorites of mine.

    How about "at room temperature" or "fell off the twig,"
    "Wearing a toe tag" or "played his last gig"?
    "Bought a pine condo" and "six feet under,"
    "Became a root inspector" makes one wonder.

    Try "went belly up" and "bit the biscuit."
    "Laid down his burden" and never missed it.
    "Gone to his maker" and "out of print,"
    "In a horizontal phone booth" for a permanent stint.

    "Defunct," extinct," and "in the crisper."
    Most say "them no louder than a whisper.
    "Gone to sleep city" and "passed his sell by date,"
    "Cashed in his chips at the pearly gate."

    Now we could go on, but you get the point.
    Have a fun in life before "checking out of his joint,"
    And should y come to my funeral, don't bring a thing.
    Just sit back and listen to the fat lady sing.
     
  7. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    This is nothing to do with grieving!, but as I have a lot of time in my hands and I haven't lost my sense of humour... I like to share with the TGW.

    I need to lose weight, just a pound or twenty
    If I could lose fifty, well that would be plenty
    I could join a gym, but I don't have the gumption.
    My legging clad legs aren't for public consumption.
    My exercise bike is succumbing to rust
    And only gets touched when I really must dust.
    And much like a pet in need of attention,
    It made me feel guilty (and slack not to mention.
    The solution, of course, was such a no brainer
    I bought it a mate....an elliptical trainer!
    This is quite easy! Or so I reckoned
    When I tried it in store for a whole fifteen seconds.
    But once it was home I tried for longer,
    The pain in my side was all that got stronger
    I puffed and I gasped, till I couldn't breathe.
    Kicked off at nine, it was now nine oh three.
    Of course! The resistance must be way too high
    But no, it read zero; I thought I might cry.
    The six on the dial sat silently mocking,
    My level of fitness was really quite shocking
    Motivation was all that I saw myself losing,
    And my self-esteem was taking a bruising.
    I tried it to music, but all that achieved
    It drowned out the sound of my poor creaking knees
    This instrument of torture could go take a hike
    I glanced now with longing at my trusty bike
    I couldn't recall why we had parted ways
    Climbed up on the seat and thought, Happy days!
    I pedaled with gusto, but soon I remembered...
    It felt like my buttocks were being dismembered
    The padding on my derriere is quite thick
    So why does it feel like I'm perched on a brick?
    It was just all too hard; I gave up in disgust
    My plan to lose weight was clearly a bust
    Oh well....at least I can say that I tried it
    I mean, really, I can't be expected to diet!
     
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  8. Ceee

    Ceee Well-Known Member

    Helena, I love that and feel like i could have written it, so much is the same with me. My recent attempt at the weight loss get fit ordeal was to join a program through my insurance. Great program ..... sure for those in good health and physical condition. But those of us who are not perfect do not have a chance. ie joint pain, and dental challenges. How do cut raw fruits and vegetables when you can't use your thumbs and how do you bite and chew them. Any way - we keep trying and maybe someday we will find something that works.
     
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  9. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    Yesterday's humour poetry it wasn't writing by me it was writing by a funny lady from UK, I just wanted to create a humour after all we need to laugh as well. Helena
     
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  10. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Helena, you are so right about needing to add a little humour every now and then. My C had a good sense of humour, we'd often make each other laugh.
    With regards to dieting and keeping in form, since I lost my beloved, I've had days of binge 'nervous' eating, days of not eating at all, days of cramming into my mouth loads of disgusting sugary stuff, in the end Ive put on a bit weight. This disturbs me, not because I care much anymore about my physical aspect, but because I know that my C would have looked at me and smiled making wonderful comments such as "oh, I love you with a bit more chubbiness to have a pinch at'.
    Wishing you a peaceful day, dear friend.
    Rose.
     
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  11. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

  12. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Oh, B, so wonderful and peaceful. I've never been able to grow Nucreasums.
    B, I've never had luck with Nasturtium flowers which I think I see here. I think they like shade and not a lot of sun? Guess guessing.
     
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  13. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I agree! My weight has been awful since losing my love. I had actually been on a health kick before having the kids. I worked out the whole pregnancy of my son. I had just told Gant I was bout to get back in the gym. He said he'd help.out anyway he could. I guess it wasn't meant to be. Now I'm bigger than I was during the pregnancy of either one of my kids. Its just like you said though eat a little one day, too much another and nothing the next. Its crazy the things we go through. Hopefully we'll get it together.
     
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  14. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Unable to do new art these days. This is one from a couple years ago. Jul23_01.JPG
     
  15. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Cosmically cool!
     
  16. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Did some art!
     

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  17. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    Yes, those are nasturtiums. I heard they were hard to grow, but beneficial to so many plants, which is why I chose them.
    I grew several patches from seed last year to see how they did in different places in the garden. I hoped they would help me assess how different plants might do. They are rockstars, grew in every light level. we had a long heat dome over us for a while and the ones in full sun would pout a little by afternoon but perky by the next morning.
    AND
    These are all volunteers this year, they’re still popping up in random spots. I can’t keep up.
    ( I may never have to use the seeds I saved, lol. )
    They don’t seem to mind being transplanted so I just keep digging them up and tucking them into empty spots around the yard.
    The ones in the cinder blocks are circling around one of our new apple trees. It had a pretty good prune just after solstice to keep it small. I lost all of this years blooms to a late cold snap. It’s better for the tree to work on forming roots the first season but you can imagine the disappointment at not having even one for this coming November. We should have apples next autumn for the 2nd anniversary <3

    I was harvesting herbs early this morning, they are most potent for healing if harvested on the full moon.
    I wept. There are a lot of memories and hopes out there.
    The addition of an herb garden last year was a big goal and Kenn would have loved how it’s turning out.
    The taste, smell, feel, sight and even sounds of the bees everywhere…. Yep, he would have loved it. Bittersweet.
    ~B
     
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  18. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Thank you B, I think it's too hot here for nasturtiums. I know they grow like weeds by the coast. Now I'm having a hard time with strawberries. I have some in a very large pot on the deck, the plant is healthy, the strawberries look deformed, small and sad called Gasana, not familiar with that variety.
    That's heartbreaking having a cold snap for your trees. We are not incharge of nature, just have to work around it.
    Jack planted herbs in the garden, rosemary, sage for starters. They are now large weeds and really nice compliment to the landscape.

    Yes, your Kenn would have loved it, now his love will be transferred to you.
     
    Rose69 likes this.
  19. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Hi, I've just been reading your posts and I've been so touched by how you describe the beautiful nature in your surroundings. Those flowers really are wonderful. I just want to cry thinking about how my beloved C had so much dedication looking after our property. I'm trying my best to keep it in order, weeding, pruning, but of course there's so much work that will be left undone. We also have many fruit trees, the other day, during one of my walks around our land, I saw some pears which are nearly ripe. It was so heartbreaking thinking of all those pear cakes I used to bake which my beloved C loved so much.
     
  20. Ceee

    Ceee Well-Known Member

    I so agree with that weight thing. I was doing good for a while then other things in my life started falling part and I no longer had my love to keep me on track so food became my friend and companion. I think maybe we should not be such good frineds :) HUGS to all and sorry for loss.