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Wednesday ART THERAPY

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Helena Beatriz, May 4, 2022.

  1. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Hi Gary, thank you for your post, my heart goes out to you for the loss of your beloved Cheryl. I keep asking myself the same question, how can a healthy person full of life, hardworking, just disappear like that, out of the blue in a matter of minutes. No matter how hard I try, I cannot come to terms with this, I'm torturing myself too thinking that perhaps I could have done more to save him.
    I am also glad to have met all of you, I think you will agree that it's impossible for anyone to understand us unless they are going or have gone through the same grief. That's why I already feel at home here, knowing I can pour my heart out , saying whatever I'm feeling and thinking.
    Hoping our struggle on this journey gets more bearable and perhaps eventually start seeing a glimmer of light.
     
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  2. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Hi Lou, glad to hear your leg has almost healed. You are so lucky to live by the ocean where you have your special bench you can go to. My C loved going to the beach but we live far away from the coast, so we only managed to go in the summer for a week or two, when the kids were younger. Recently, it was just me and C going for days out together (obviously our grownup children prefer going out with their friends now). A year before he was taken away from me, he had bought a motorbike (something he'd always wanted) and we started going for rides around the beautiful mountains that surround us, I just can't believe he's gone and am never going to see him again.

    Thank you for being here.
     
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  3. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Rose, I was out in the fresh air all
    afternoon, except for lunch at the cafe,
    where my friend plays drums. Then , we
    were joined by his wife of 50 years,
    and went out to dinner. Though I cry
    every morning with the realization that
    Linda will never come back to me,
    physically, on earth, music, friends, and
    the sea, are my salvation. I'm glad you
    are on here , too, Rose, and we can
    comfort each other. Lou
     
  4. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

     
  5. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

    HOW

    Bill Lathrop

    2021

    How could I have known... when first we met?

    That you would change my life forever, and wondrously yet…

    You gave to me the honor of becoming my wife, and in so doing you rescued my life.

    There is not one person who could have guessed… how you had the courage, to greet God’s test. And... you know how much I ache for your touch, and I dream each night that you will give me that much. Enough to carry me through each day and give me the strength to find a way to make for us a full and love-filled day….

    I ask God how and why, while the days so quickly fly by, and I have shed more free-flowing tears that continue throughout the time-rushed years... as I still... continue to cry… And those unbidden tears just add to my fears, by asking how I can know what eternity holds abiding with love...and you...

    So....

    I wonder more and more as I pace the floor and ask my soul about… the why.
     
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  6. Gary166

    Gary166 Guest

    Hello Rose. Permission to Mourn has allowed me to keep my relationship with my beloved Cheerful Cheryl alive. Zuba writes; We must choose moment to moment between love and fear. the choice to believe that you are alone invisible and powerless in this case that someone you love dearly has been tragically taken is a choice of fear. the choice to believe that the soul of the one you dearly love has returned home to the non-physical reality in a manner place and time of his choosing and yet remains with you is the choice of love. Rereading This book is paramount to my grief journey. It helps me think and feel with my heart instead of my head. It grounds me when I get disoriented. I just noticed in Cheryl’s flowers her favorites color in the irises and bee balm are blooming now. I sit near them and thank Cheryl for creating a wonderful environment for me. I have a figurine of the head of Vishnu in another part of Cheryl’s garden. the expression on Cheryl’s face 2 hours after her departure went from a very tired look to nirvana. Something unexplainable happened then. A chipping sparrow is making a nest in her roses as I write this. To survive this grief I try to tap into the supernatural when I can. Take care. Gary
     
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  7. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Gary, I no longer have my Permission to
    Mourn book, lent to me by my grief
    counselor, so I want to thank you for
    getting at the essence of his work, and
    sharing it with new members , like
    Rose & Ruth. I bought Jonathan's
    Widower's Notebook, and reread some of
    his lighter , more humorous chapters. Lou
     
  8. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Hello Gary, I was so touched to read about how you're caring for your beloved Cheryl's flowers, really shows your great love for her, and so sweet about that little sparrow. I try to keep our property in order but there is a limit to what I can do on my own. I don't expect my kids to help as they spend their time studying, and there are some tough jobs we can't possibly do without mechanical devises. My husband did everything himself, it hurts so much now to have to call others to do these jobs.
    I'm considering searching for this book you and others have recommended (Permission to mourn). Sounds like it has helped many of you.
    All the best to you and thank you for sharing.
    Rose
     
  9. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Lou, I agree with you, music is definitely my salvation and so is pouring my heart out here to you all and listening to your sad stories, giving each other strength and courage to carry on.
    We are all crying together, take care of yourself.
    Rose.
     
  10. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    I'm too tired to continue crying, I just don't have any more tears, but my eyes are SAD, the reality it's that we are here alone with memories...I have to move forward and not get stuck in this grieving bubble, it's exhausting!! Geoff always will be in my heart, we have to be strong. Helena
     
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  11. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    Yes, Helena it Is exhausting. It was one of the things I wasn’t prepared for. It eases up from time to time for me but paired with sleeplessness it can be as debilitating as the sadness. You’re doing great navigating your grief. Your posts communicate the full range of emotions you are experiencing. We are strong enough to feel this. We are safe enough to feel this. ~Bernadine
     
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  12. Helena Beatriz

    Helena Beatriz Well-Known Member

    Maybe George will share his unique pastels today...otherwise will be only my pen and ink. Helena

    IMG_20220608_093147_kindlephoto-463686005.jpg
     
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  13. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I'll try. This is from years ago. I don't have creativity or imagination now. I'm sorry I'm such a downer. Not doing good...
     

    Attached Files:

  14. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I cannot cry anymore. It is too thick and deep.
     
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  15. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    George, I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much. I’m glad your visiting GIC, that’s a plus. All the GW are here for you. Be sure to take care of yourself you’re important. Ron is my inspiration. Why I get out of bed each day. I know he would want me to be ok. Not sure if that will happen. But I do everything because of him. Valerie wants you to be ok. Breath in fresh air. I know Valerie would give you a big hug if she could right now. Sending you love and hugs and wishing you peace. Robin
     
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  16. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Robin. I couldn't even force myself to go on GIC for around two weeks. I know Valerie would want me to be happy/happier... just can't do that right now. So depressed... I am such a f*ng mess these daze
     
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  17. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Of course George. I haven't been on GIC much myself. And when I was reading I wasn’t seeing you on here. I felt concern. You do have many friends here pulling g for you. Believe me, I understand and everyone else does too. You’re not a mess. You’re a man missing his best friend, wife, soul mate etc. missing the life you had and want so desperately. You’re going through the worst thing possible. Keep trying, keep the faith. Valerie is with you. It’s very different but you each helped make each other the person you each became. She’s within you. Let her speak to you. ❤️ Robin
     
  18. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Bill,

    This is so very beautiful... Thank you for sharing.

    Sending you hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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  19. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Bernadine,

    I'm having a difficult week. I can't seem to kick the F*CK!!! out of Mr Grief hard enough to knock him out cold for very long. I'm going to adopt what you just said, "We are strong enough to feel this. We are safe enough to feel this," and repeat it over and over again..., whenever those floodgates open... Whenever I can't stop crying... It SUCKS!!!

    As always, sending you and Maggie Joy lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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  20. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    George,

    Although I wish you had better news to share with us, I'm so very glad to "see" you tonight. As usual, no words of wisdom, no advice, just the very BIGGEST!!! virtual hug...

    I haven't been around too much lately either. When I'm not kicking the F*CK!!! out of Mr. Grief, or when I've managed to knock him unconscious for awhile, I'm finding I need more and more time to myself, to get outside, take long walks, even socialize a bit more. I need to step away from grieving whenever I can. Otherwise, Mr. Grief would suck whatever life I have left in me, right out of me, suffocate me.

    I'm learning to live a bittersweet existence. It SUCKS!!!, SCFED!!! (Gary came up with this, but don't ask me to spell it out, lol... It can be used to replace TUTTAM!!!, which has grown way past STALE!!!, or just to mix things up a bit. Variety is the spice of life!!!, TUTTAM!!!) However, bittersweet is so much better than just sad.

    Lost my train of thought, It's been a long, exhausting day. I'm emotionally and physically drained.

    As always, sending you lots more hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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