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Valentine is Dead!

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by eyepilot13, Feb 11, 2022.

  1. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    George, I’m thinking of you especially today on the one year anniversary of losing your one and only. I know it’s hard. I love the idea of painting today. I know on the first anniversary of Ron passing I kept feeling like the world was going to end all over again. In a way I guess it did because I relived each moment as the day went by. I had my close family join me in the evening for dinner. We had all of Rons favorite dishes. And chocolate cake. We each had mountain Dew and said a toast to the best husband and dad. We all shared memories of Ron and one in particular was unanimous. We all will miss Rons infectious laugh. He told wonderful fun stories snd a laugh that was so pure. That anniversary was most definitely hard as I know it is for you today. And each day after is still hard. But we do get stronger with each passing day. Whether we realize it or not. It is happening. It might not seem like it but it happens ever so slowly.
    George I’m saying extra prayers for you today and sending lots of love and hugs. Robin.
     
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  2. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    Lou,

    I bet I SUCK!!!, TU!!! much worse than you do when it comes to art!!! My artistic ability is limited to stick figures and, from when I was very young, pictures of "Snoopy," Charlie Brown's dog, lol...

    "If we lose our imagination, creativity, & sense of humor, we get very old -----fast." Perfectly stated!!!, TU!!!

    As always,sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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  3. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Lou,

    I didn't read the C for L quote today, and because I have a habit of not reading messages in any particular order, I didn't know that it was by Charles M. Schulz when I told you about limited artistic ability, lol...
     
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  4. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Lou,

    I agree with George, this quote is perfect...
    I think I should copy it, stick it on my refrigerator where I'll see it lots...
    Thanks so much for sharing...

    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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  5. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    George,

    As I just told Lou, I SUCK!!!, BIG!!! TIME!!! when it comes to art. However, I used to love to write. Since Bob's death, I have a really hard time writing. Writing used to always be so easy for me, and now, it's just an over the top frustrating experience. I love how you said it,"It's been particularly hard to re-kindle my imagination stream." I'm thinking that since you and I both have this problem, lots of us probably have it. Grieving SUCKS!!!

    I hope today turned out to be better than you expected it would, but if not, think positively!!!, tomorrow will be here before you know it.

    Sending you lots more hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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  6. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Bernadine,

    I love!!! when you planted the apple trees last fall you chose varieties that will produce fruit around the time of of the anniversary of Kenn's death. It is such a very special way to remember Kenn on this over the top, sad day... It is a constant reminder that although Kenn is no longer able to be here with you physically, there are still things to look forward to in life, until the time when you and Kenn will be reunited again. I know this would make Kenn smile...

    My good friend who lost her husband a little over two years ago, planted a tree in her front yard on the first anniversary of her husband's death. If I knew I was going to stay in this house, I would want to plant one too. I'm not sure what I'll do on April, 11th, but if I'm feeling strong enough, I would like to begin going through some old pictures, maybe make a collage to hang on a wall in my living room. Or, walk along the ocean... visit some of our favorite places... If I'm not strong enough to do any of these things, I hope I'm able to go hiking, spend the day outside, in nature, find a quiet place to sit and remember some of the most magical, wonderful days Bob and I spent together... No matter how I decide to mark this date, I think I better be prepared with lots of extra tissues. I need one now... It SUCKS!!!

    A chocolate eclair with lots of caffeine for breakfast..., this sounds delicious!!! However, a slice of a freshly baked apple pie for breakfast... This would be Bob's idea of perfection, lol...

    As always, sending you and Maggie lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
  7. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your always kind and not platitudinal messages... I am trying to figure out what my problems are stemming from the BIG ONE -GRIEF!
    Lack of motivation
    Can't face real stuff
    No imagination... or hard to access
    always hungry and thirsty
    no sense of humor
    no ability to be silly and wacky
    No sense of whimsy
    No Zest for life
    Not interested in stuff
    No self-Confidence
    No human Contact or interaction
    No house
    No interest in Entertainment

    Winter cold is paralyzing me too. Drive TB to School, The GF to work, always dialysis
    Always in physical or emotional pain...

    I whine too much!
    Thanks for listening...
     
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  8. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I am the new Prometheus!
    Does that sound pretentious enuf!?
     
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  9. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    George, I was all those things, too. but
    have changed, partly "with the help of
    my friends" , as both The Beatles and
    Joe Cocker, sang. I disagree with one
    thing on your list. You DO have a great
    sense of humor, despite it all, when
    you "talk" with Deb and me. Lou
     
  10. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Glad you can still see my sense of humor. I didn't realize it was still kinda there,...
     
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  11. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    It sure is, George, & all TGW appreciate
    it, I remember Karen saying she got a
    kick out of how you phrase things, as do
    I. Lou
     
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  12. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    George,

    I was about to put away my chrome book but saw this message from you, so I want you to know I'm "listening...," I "get" it. It SUCKS!!!

    Although I'm still stuck on this way beyond twisted emotional roller coaster of way too many downs, not enough ups, in general, Mr. Grief hasn't been able to keep as tight a grasp on me. I'm not sure how I've been managing to keep Mr. Grief from invading every single moment of every single day. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm beginning to feel more confident in my ability to take care of myself, I no longer dread financial matters, and surprisingly, I'm no longer fearful of potentially having to evacuate when hurricane season arrives, at the end of June. I made it through the most difficult, most heartbreaking time in my life, the way I look at things now, nothing, and I mean NOTHING!!!, TU!!!, can even begin to compare with the total heartbreak of Bob passing away... I now understand what Robin means when she says we are stronger than we think we are. We have to be, we DO NOT!!! have a choice!!!, TU!!!

    I see you in a much different way than you see yourself. I see you as someone who has suffered the most intense pain imaginable, while at same time, having to deal with your own serious health issues, losing your career as a result of this, your connections to the world, plus having to come to terms with the fact that Valerie, while you loved her, and will always love her, with all your heart, wasn't perfect, and had many flaws (as we all do). Also, it must be difficult, although I've never been in this situation, so I can't really know how I would feel, but I'm thinking it must be difficult for you, knowing that your son had such a rocky relationship with his mother.

    I see you the way Gary sees you, the way all of TGW see you, as the TUGW, much stronger than you thing you are, always trying to move forward, even though Mr. Grief still has way too tight a grasp on you, plus having to deal with one crisis after another, cleaning out your house, selling your house, finding an apartment in another town, the stress of needing to go to dialysis so frequently, even in miserable winter weather, car repairs, etc, etc., etc., and most recently injuring your finger... In spite of all these obstacles, you bravely face each and every day, always doing the very best you can. I know none of what I've just said helps you in even the smallest of ways, but I had to say it, and have to repeat it, YOU ARE TUGW!!!, TU!!!

    Being able to verbalize your feelings with all of us, in spite of how depressed you are IS progress, although to you, I'm sure it doesn't feel like it. The most important thing of all, is that you are NOT!!! giving up. You are doing all the hard work grieving forces us to do, you are going through all the pain.., so physically..., so emotionally draining... You ARE moving forward.

    I know this doesn't help you feel any better either, but true love is eternal. No one, nothing, can take away the over the top, intense love, you had for Valerie, and still have for Valerie. Someday when your purpose on earth has been fulfilled, you will be reunited with her. Until then, we'll be here with you, every step of the way, as you continue to battle Mr. Grief, as you continue to struggle to find yourself again, without Valerie beside you. I believe Valerie would consider you the TUGW too. Hang in there. We all love you...

    As always, sending you lots of hugs, and lots more love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
  13. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    George, I can't top the eloquent &
    moving words of encouragement to you,
    from " The Deb", as you affectionately
    call her. I agree with every word. You've
    been through a special hell, of one
    dreaded thing after another, that none of
    us had to deal with, over & above the
    mourning for our soulmates. Lou
     
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  14. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    George, whine all you want. Everything on your list is normal in the grief world. So very normal. I still struggle with everything on your list especially can't face real stuff. I need Jack behind me to push me to get motivation. Losing our soulmate takes away part of ourselves
     
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  15. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    something happened to the rest of my post. It's probably floating in cyberspace.
     
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  16. csmith532

    csmith532 Well-Known Member

    I could gave wrote this about myself. To me you are leagues beyond me. Reading your experiences and struggles has really helped me. I don't even think it's possible to whine too much. Much love and respect brother.

    -Chad
     
  17. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Chad, I think George is the bravest
    brother. Not sure how I'd be, in his shoes.
    Lou
     
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  18. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Glad I'm not whiny! I just feel the need to express myself. I truly am glad it helps you. That makes me feel better. We just need to be kind to ourselves and do our best. Take care my brother!
     
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  19. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I am a writing major afterAll! Did an acrylic painting today!
     
  20. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I feel so empty without her!
    Cyberspace is scary stuff that eats words! and worlds! LoL
     
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