Unbearable pain

The pain and loneliness are unbearable. I cannot believe that Marshall, my husband of 40 years is really gone. Wave after wave of grief rush over me and I feel like I am drowning in it. The only one who could comfort me is Marshall with his sense of humor and empathy, but he will never return to do so. I cannot bear that I will never see him on earth again. I wish he would send me a sign that he is okay and forgives me for times that I wasn't kind. I need a redo and none exist in this world. I am nothing without him, but must go on for our son, who will be leaving in the Fall for College.

How does anyone stand this agony?

 

my loving wife of 46 years recently passed away. We married right out of high school. the grief you speak of is the love you had for him. For me the calls I got just relived that grief over and over again. Then I realize something. They were grieving too. I need that for me to heal, as best I can.

 

I am so sorry for your lose and understand the grief. I hope that some type of healing does come with time, but for now waves of grief keeping hitting me with little let up.

 

Thank you. Just like you, I miss her everyday. But my family needs me to be strong. God bless you and your family.

 

I am also 66 and it’s been a while since I have been on this site, I always found it to be helpful to share, and only what all of us know the pain of the loss of our spouse. I thought after four years, it would just be better but lately it seems like I’m missing my wife more than ever. Maybe it has something to do with the years just going by it seems like quickly than I ever remember. And during those four years I think of all the times we could’ve paid it together or she passed away three months after I retired. I shared your sentiments. I sometimes to wish my wife would just tell me in a dream that she is OK and I too maybe we surely all made mistakes I had my share. people ask if I have met someone else I thought maybe I might be ready even developed a relationship over the phone with someone for a couple months but when it came time to actual dating, I just didn’t do it and broke it off. Anyone else been through something like this? Daisy this is just tough, tough crap. It truly is one day at a time is it not that used to be cliché but now it’s true all I can say is be strong and very courageous be good to yourself. Take care

 

Daisy, I understand your feeling of unbearable grief and lonliness missing the one you loved so much.
Maybe your husband cannot tell you he forgives you for the times you weren't kind, but God can tell you that. He says if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and casts our sins as far as the east if from the west. Those are good words to know and take to heart when we become bogged down with regrets. This is the redo that God offers us, and it is the reason Jesus came and suffered so much in our place so that we could be forgiven and be allowed into God's prescence once again.
Our unkindness to each other is ugly, and we really realize it when we lose someone we love with whom we could have done better. I know.
Hoping you will cling to this hope, because better days are coming.
I hope to hear from you,
Chris

 

Your words are encouraging and uplifting to others. Thank you for caring when you are suffering such pain of your own.
We cannot rush anything when walking this grief walk. Others may want you to do certain things, and even think it would be good for you or help you, but no one can tell you what you need and when you need it except yourself.
Four years is really not a long time after losing someone you loved so much. It will get better with time. The pain will become less frequent and your mind will even allow you to think of other things, instead of dwelling on the loss constantly. Be kind and patient with yourself. This grief walk can be agonizingly slow and tough. Lean on God, ask him for strength.
You can do this even when it seems impossible. I know. I thought it was, but by the grace of God I made it though the nightmare that became my life.
We care,
Chris

 

My question also, how do we stand this agony. I really don't know how we survive minute to minute. It seems to force a connection to God we may have underestimated before. Hold on. Remember his love, bask in it. This will always be with you. Blessings.