Two Years in Heaven

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by NYCBASSIST55, Aug 5, 2021.


    NYCBASSIST55 Active Member


    As of tomorrow at 4:30 am my wife will have died two years ago. I thought my plan was working for coping- Sunday mass said in her name, posted a slideshow with her music on Facebook and I recorded a piece of music she arranged for me to play and posted it on youtube. It’s less than six hours to the anniversary and the blackness and emptiness has returned.

    Does anybody have advice about dealing with anniversaries?

    link to video- premieres tomorrow
    DEB321 and RLC like this.
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Anniversaries certainly are hard to get through. I understand and feel your concern and anxiety on how to handle tomorrow. I personally have stressed over each anniversary's and had sleepless nights leading up to the dates of Ron’s passing. It’s 2 1/2 years and I’ve stressed for weeks leading up to the date and time. Then the day comes and it’s full of emotion and tears and remembering every single thing we did on that day. Ron passed very suddenly with no warning. So memories of the day are how we spent a perfectly normal day. But what I spent weeks dreading, it didn’t turn out as bad as my mind conjured up. I had family with me and we shared memories and I made his favorite dishes. I honor Ron each and every day but on those anniversary’s I make everything about the wonderful man I married and the special life we had together. I know we all do that each day but I do more on birthdays, anniversaries etc. Watch his favorite movies, visit parks we went to often. Whatever might help you celebrate your wonderful wife’s life, will help get you through. And you’ve done that already with pictures and music and the video on here. Invite family and friends to share their memories. I’ve released biodegradable balloons and Chinese lanterns. And I thank him for the time we had together and ask him to please continue to watch over me. Try to stay busy. You’re doing a great job in keeping her memory alive. Praying for you to have the strength to keep moving forward. God Bless.

    NYCBASSIST55 Active Member

    Thank you for your answer. You mentioned the feeling of dread before the anniversary. You are right saying that the anticipation is worse than the arrival of the anniversary. That was definitely the case today. You said that you thanked Ron. I thanked Colleen for inspiring me to do better and that helped. It’s important.
  4. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    You’re welcome! I hope you’re doing ok. That’s a beautiful tribute for Colleen. Thank you for sharing. It’s obvious you shared a beautiful and special life together.