twinless twin

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by angelofsnow76, May 18, 2020.

  1. angelofsnow76

    angelofsnow76 New Member

    i am still struggling with this....on november 27, the day before thanksgiving, my identical twin sister had a seizure whike taking a bath and drowned all my life, i have been her shadow, people always remembered her name but not mine...for yesrs i struggled to have my own identity, but this is not the way i wanted it.....i had just spoken to her the day before.....i don't know how to be a twinless twin......our dad died of lung cancer in august of 2015, and our mum died of kidney and liver failure in november of 2018, so i cannot find comfort with them....i have a younger sister and older brother, but they don't want to talk about it, they keep telling me to 'get over it, it's a part of life' i don't have anyone to lean on, and i tried counselling but with the whole pandemic, i cannot go anywhere
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for you and the sudden and tragic loss of your twin sister. You’ve lost three very important people in your life in 5 years. That’s a lot to bare. I have an understanding on losing parents and how awful and devastating that feels. My Dad passed in 1994 from cancer, I was sure I couldn’t live a single day without him, he was such an important person in my life, he was the head of our family, he seemed to know everything he was the one person everyone went to. But I had 2 young children and a husband who needed me, and my Mom who was floundering after such a loss. I supported my Mom and took care of her, years later she had heart valve replacement surgery, then she suffered with dementia. I lost my Mom, my best friend in 2005. I had the same reaction to losing her as I did at the loss of my Dad. Devastating.
    Move forward to Nov, 2018, I lost the love of my life to a sudden and massive heart attack. He was taken from me in 2 hours. The loss of Ron is why I am on this site. He was my everything. I consider him my everything my inspiration, my forever love. A piece of me is missing.
    So I know of losses and how horrible the pain is, the feeling of can’t think straight. Like a cloud or foggy thought process. I can’t say I know what it feels like to lose your twin, I imagine it feels like you’ve lost a limb or half of yourself. It’s sad to me that you do have siblings but they aren’t being supportive. Obviously I don’t know their relationship with your sister, but they might be in denial. I hope you have friends that reach out and offer support, people you can call or FaceTime with. It’s very important to be able to talk about your feelsings and your loss. I know the effect this pandemic is causing, people can’t give you in person support but there are ways to receive support, I hope that other family members and friends are available for you.
    This site has been of great support to me, I’m confident it will help you as well. Everyone on here has gone through a life changing loss and know the feelings you’re going through. You are not alone in how you feel. There’s a great community of caring and compassionate people on here. Keep posting, reading and sharing your story. It does help.
    Please take care of yourself, you’re important. Your twin would want you to be ok. Things do get better with time. It takes lots of time. Be kind to yourself, you deserve that.
    There will be better days ahead, keep working towards them
    Hugs! Robin
  3. Tammy_sweetie

    Tammy_sweetie New Member

    I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. I can relate to a lot that you posted, I have lost my brother recently. We all experience grief in our unique way. But, as humans, we experience difficult feelings and painful situations and that connects us. It can help when someone lets you know that you are not alone. Also, it helps to understand that your sadness is an understandable and valid feeling. It seems that sometimes when people reach out to loved ones for emotional support, they are unable or unwilling to emotionally connect with us. It would help so much for them to listen to us, say that our feelings are understandable, or that they are here for us. I'm sorry that your siblings haven't reacted that way. I have also had trouble finding emotional support from family and friends. This seems like a good place that people can understand and relate to our feelings and connect with us. I am optimistic that we both may find some relief and connection on this site.