Trying and failing to cope

I am a Mess today!!!! SO SAD !!!! Kim

 

How are You today? Same? Saturday Night Woes? Do you have moments when you burst into tears and can hardly catch your breath? I feel like when that happens to me, I want to give up. I am so alone. I am meeting with Therapist on Monday. I feel like I have to. But do I want to? I am so confused. Let me now your thoughts when you are up to it. KE

 

Good morning Rose, I’m guessing it’s night there. I just wanted to say your posts have given me hope for my own future. I’m 55 years old, and I have in some ways just believed that my life would be smaller and less rich without my husband of nearly 30 years. But I am going to school for my masters in teaching English to speakers of other languages (TESOL). Now, I can actually picture myself living there in Italy and feeling peace and happiness in a place Steve and I loved. Thank you so much! When we held Steve as he took his final breaths, I thought his suffering was over, and our love was ending. I know now that while his suffering from cancer ended, our love will never die. And he will get his wish that I can be alive again without him, despite how much I desperately miss him. Thank you Rose! Peace, love, hugs, comfort and healing to everyone! ❤️

 

I’m so sorry Kim! Hugs, love and comfort ❤️

 

Thank you for your kind words Deborah, I'm glad we can all support each other here. You and I have a lot in common, I'm nearly 56 (in a few day's time), and when I lived in the UK, I did the TEFL course (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). I have taught English to Italian students in English Language schools over these past years. Good luck with your masters, your Steve will be proud of you. Like you say, our love for our soulmates will never die, we carry their love with us and this is what gives us strength to go on.
Rose

 

Dear Kim,
Weekends can be so difficult. I’m hoping that you are feeling better now that it’s Monday? I often felt like I was a sponge. I’d squeeze out a a bunch of intense grief, feel better and carry on for a day or two at most and be back in the same place. Early on, I’d sometimes feel like I’m completely saturated with grief. Releasing the pain through talking and crying eased the pain temporarily. Over time (many months and eventually, years) it became easier. I don’t think I will ever completely stop grieving. I just can’t imagine it. Love, hugs and comfort. ❤️