Trying and failing to cope

i just dont how to continue without my wife. it the same emptyness over and over. i need to find a new way but HOW ?

 

will anybdy be here today

 

I try... Very7 depressed and unmotivated to anything today

 

hello

 

hi me to. chat?

 

Hey... I am on herte a lot except lately. My head has been too messed up. Wife dies of Cancer 36 months ago. We were partners and soulMates for v34 years. The pain has become almost unbearable again. It was traumatic rubbing here back all night while she violently threw up vile black cancer juice... I am totally alone! No one except GIC people can come close to getting it.

 

I can't do chat room stuff but I'm on the connections page here...

 

Valerie! WHY THE FK ARE YOU NOT WITH ME!

 

Oh Valerie! I miss you so much! Every nano-second of every micro- second ALWAYS! CONSTANTLY!

 

I kinda HATE everything today!

 

I'm a HESS No One Cares!

 

Good evening, Elizabeth—

My life (4 years into grieving) is settled. I reached a point where I realized I felt alive again, and that was a bit more than two years after my husband died. I’m lonely, and I need to be intentional about finding people and groups who do things that I enjoy. I realized that I will never marry again. I’m only 55, and Steve told me that he wanted me to be open to a new relationship. But I just still feel married—like he’s just a hair’s breadth away from me and I will rejoin him someday, after I die. So I still wear my wedding ring and I can hear Steve saying that I am married to a ghost, in his joking manner. God, I do miss him.

To quote Deb, this still sucks. I still miss him and I always will. I cry almost every day. But the suffocating pain has eased considerably and I’m trying to live each day with carpe diem as my mission and philosophy. I’m here to give and receive support. This is the most difficult life gives us. It gets easier, but it never goes away. I hope I am getting this right.

Thank you, Elizabeth, for talking to me. I’m wrapped up in helping my 82 year old mother recover from a stroke. It’s nice to chat with someone who knows grief. Take care of yourself and please tell me about your loss. I want to know your partner’s name and how you are doing. Please let me know how I can support you. Hugs and comfort! ❤️

 

Wise words Deborah, a perfect insight. Thank you, I really appreciate your words, just what I needed first thing in the morning, you've helped me start my day better.
Rose.

 

Thank you Rose! It helps me so much to know that we humans wade through the pain of grief in a similar manner. It SUCKS!! As Deb so often says. It does SUCK! It’s painful and the end is not certain and certainly not promised. It’s the expensive cost of love. I guess I wouldn’t trade it, but how I miss the love I had. Prayers, hugs and comfort to all!! ❤️

 

I do care!

 

Wow Rose, You and I are so similar. Except that I was not here when my Husband was found here unconscious. But I came home to the house messed up with cut off clothes and electrical pads all over. I felt like why didn't they save Him??Apparently He was too far gone by the time they arrived. I will never know. Why? Why did He leave me now? You did all you could. When people leave us, they just do. We, You and I did not have a Crystal Ball to see that our Loves were going to die. And given how much you tell me that He was the Love of your Life, I am sure you did what you thought was best at that moment. Are you in a group? I have been thinking about it on here. Rose, I hope that you will forgive yourself. I don't know, but I think that Self Forgiveness may be the key to moving forward. I have been reliving over and over what happened and that I should have had things in place so that he would not have been home alone and died. I am so Mad!!! I am such a Good and Kind person, Why did this happen to Me? Ugh!! Please let me know how you are. I feel like you have a lot to say. I am Grateful you liked my posts. I hope to continue Rose. Sincerely Kim

 

Deborah, Did I miss your Reply? Just Wondering how you have managed your loss? If You are up to responding. All the Best. Kim Elizabeth

 

Wow. I am proud of you for giving your Soul Mate that kind of care and love during such a delicate and challenging time. I really was thinking of all of us to be in a group. I think we may be able to help one another. I don't know. Just thinking. Kim

 

Yes... I could see that. I'm trying so hard to get it together yet again!