Too Much Loss

Lou,

You're not the only one who got up late this morning... I didn't get up until almost 9:30 a.m., even with bright sunshine shining through the cracks in the plantation shutters in my bedroom. Backing up a bit, I'm glad you slept in. Lots of rest, plenty of fluids..., etc. you've been doing it all, so stopping here. It's good to "see" you on GIC this morning. Hope you're continue to feel lots better and soon Omicron will be history!!!, TU!!! (First one of the day...)

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Gary,

I'll be thinking about you Tuesday, praying everything goes well...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Chad,

You and Bob have something in common, He was a huge Star Wars fan. Lizzy and I were on the same page. I'm not into Star Wars either, but like Lizzy, it made me happy to see Bob watching Star Wars movies because I knew how much he loved them. I went with Bob to see a couple of the movies on the big screen, when they first came out. I confess, I fell asleep during one of them, but it made me feel good knowing how much Bob was enjoying himself. It made me smile, seeing him glued to the screen, enjoying the movie, munching on that movie theater over the top greasy, buttered popcorn, washing it down with a Coke. I don't like buttered popcorn, especially the movie theater kind, but I'm getting off track here, so enough of this! It was sort of like watching a kid in a candy shop for the very first time.

When Bob's health began spiraling downwards, my kids visited us in 2019. They took us out for dinner at a really nice seafood restaurant with outdoor seating, overlooking the ocean, in one of what I think, is the most beautiful areas in this state. They also took us on a dolpin watch (really difficult because Bob could barely walk, but with help, we were able to get him seated as comfortably as possible on the boat), wanting Bob to be out on the water, knowing it probably was the last time he would ever be able to be on a boat. And, the morning before they had to leave, they took Bob to see a Star Wars movie. It was one of the newer ones that Bob wanted to see on the big screen. My kids, especially my sons, enjoy Star Wars movies, so they took Bob. I was so tired, I stayed in my pjs until they got back, happily drinking lots of coffee, so grateful for our children, for the very special time we were able to share, all of us together. Sadly, this was the last time all of us were together. COVID hit, and travel was restricted. I need a tissue...

This SUCKS!!! BUG TIME!!!, TU!!! (Bernadine was right, TU stands for total understatement. Something I've been saying for years. It's grown way past stale, especially on GIC, but I can't seem to stop myself from saying it. Old habits are hard to beak!!!, TU!!!)

My chrome book has hit super slo mo mode this morning, and it's taking me what seems like forever to type this. So very briefly, before I put this thing away, I love!!!, TU!!! how supportive Lizzy's family is. I agree with Robin. "It was a very special gift they gave you." I'm glad that you have Lizzy's family to share memories with (if you want to and feel up to it.). I find that one of the things that helps, is being able to talk about Bob, all those wonderful memories with friends and family who knew him. Talking about Bob keeps his memory alive. This is so very important to me. Bob was, and always will be a big part of my life, even though now he isn't here to share life with me physically.

Sending you and pink haired Fergie lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Thank you for your reply. I am very thankful for Lizzy’s family and that we can and do share memories. She is still with us in our hearts and memories. Her parents also love Fergie and will take care of her if I need to leave town to visit family. I really do love them.

-Chad

 

I really like Bernadine‘s battle cry “we are strong enough to feel the pain”. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH TGW!!! Gary

 

Gary,

Thinking about you today...
Sending lots of extra hugs, love your way, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Hi Lou,Gary,
Lou how are you.?Gary thinking of you as you are
getting test done today. Prayers for you both.
Blessings, Patti

 

Gary, Deb’s post reminded me you have tests today. Thinking of you and adding extra prayers.
Deb, Thank you for the reminder, I hope you’re doing well. Or as good as can be expected. George, hope you’re doing ok too. Haven’t seen you on here too much lately. Know that I’m thinking of you. Lou, let us know how you’re doing. Sorry you’re still not feeling well. We’re all concerned for you. Patti I see you posted as I’m writing this. Good to see you on here. It’s been quiet, including myself. I’m ok just feel like I’ve hit a wall and shut down a little. Tired of the cold, dreary days.
Praying for everyone, sending hugs and wishing we can get past this dark tunnel we all seem to in. Robin

 

Hi Robin,
I am trying to get in to group now and then. I looked for
update on Lou, hope to see Lou posting again soon.I am so
far behind on everyone’s postings, think of you all everyday,
and continually pray for each of you.
Things have been frustrating for me the past few months,
with serious health issues, trying to be extra extra careful,
prayerful not to get the virus .Our fur babies are such a blessing.
Hope Teddy is doing well. Best I ever did was when I got
my precious JayCee.
My daughter is RN and she’s been working 12 hour shifts,
I wish I had the energy to help them with house cleaning, etc.
They live about five miles from me.
Praying all of us through these trying times.
I quit watching tv months ago, am like Lou, prefer to
listen to my stereo CD player. Hope I shall hear soon that
Lou is greatly improved.Hope Karen is doing well, that
her arm healing came out real good.
Sending love,big hug to you and all others.
Blessings, Patti

 

Offering today from what’s your grief on instagram:
“We often think learning to name emotions is a project for kids. But it turns out in the tornado of grief that labelling emotions can be hard for adults too. Often when I sit with someone grieving in a group or workshop or therapy, they talk around this feeling and when I ask, does it feel a bit like yearning, people often exclaim - YES! That’s the word! Yearning for their touch, voice, their company, their advice, their humor, their presence - just yearning so deeply for them. The research tells us it is, on average, the most commonly reported of all the difficult grief emotions. So just quick little reminder that there’s a good chance yearning is a bit part of your world these days, even if you didn’t quite put your finger on the word for it.”

 

Patti,
Thank you, it feels good to hear from you. I’m so sorry about your health issues and you’re in my prayers. I’m glad you’re being so careful, you need to. We all do but in your case seriously need to be careful. Gary too, George. I’ve been trying to be extra careful, everyone seems to be sick. I do best when I get fresh air but with temps in the teens and feeling like 3°, I’m staying in. And yes! Our fur babies are what keeps us going. Teddy is doing well, like nothing ever happened. He’s my blanket buddy. I’m happy you have JayCee. They’re here for us no matter what. Sorry if I’m asking something I should know but tell me a little about JayCee. I feel for your daughter. Working such long hours. She must be exhausted. I hope she stays healthy. I know she’s careful but things happen. That’s great that she loves so close. My daughter is about 15 miles from me. I know you wish you could help your daughter in some way. But I know all she wants is her Mom to be ok. And save your strength to work towards being healthy.
I have concern for Lou, he’s on here sometimes. I see he’s hitting the like button.
I don’t watch tv during the day. Ron had tv on all day every day. It bothers me to have it on during the day. It’s stupid I know but if he can’t watch I feel I shouldn’t. But, I’m ok to watch in the evening. I don’t know.
All the best to you and everyone! Keep being careful!
Prayers and hugs to all. Robin

 

Thank you, Robin. I know you, Deb,
Karen, are concerned about me. I took
a cab twice today, bc the temps were
in only the single digits. My friend is
just getting a few things for me, but I
plan to stay inside tomorrow. Lou

 

Thank you Lou for answering. Been feeling very concerned for you. You’ve had this a long time. Glad you’re taking care of yourself. Stay warm snd feel better. I have 10° right now. I haven’t gone out at all. Keep us all posted so we know you’re ok. Sending hugs and many prayers. Robin

 

Lou, it sound like you're on the mend being able to take a cab and get out a bit. Always -- take care, K

 

Lou glad to see your post. I’ve missed you and our younger brothers George Chad Rick and sister Karen. Thanks for everyone’s concerns. I will get the results in a week. I had no idea this is a trial procedure and I’m 1 of 100 men who are getting it. Boom or bust? Patti thanks for your prayers. I was wondering if you could say a prayer for our brother Rick who wanted to ask you to pray for him? I think it might lift him up. Thank you. Walking through cement that hasn’t cured describes the funk I’m in. How long does winter last? Scratch that. I’m going ice fishing tomorrow. I’m having a little success at mindfulness when the sun hits the chair near Cheryl’s shrine. Nothing earth shattering just temporary peace. That’s good. The weather really affects my mood. I’m going to meet my new therapist tomorrow. The main reason I’m seeing her is because I don’t feel I have much in common with most people anymore. Other than my special friends here at GIC. I knew from the beginning of losing my cheerful Cheryl I was going to have to make an all out effort. I love you all. Gary

 

Still here. Not doing great. Trying to read there's not much else to do or that I want to do outside of the normal everyday chores and stresses. Just not real interested in much. It warmed up a bit but still cold. so tired yesterday didn't even turn on computer machine. Very blah and lifeless. Thanks for caring. Much love to you!

 

Hey Gary... not doing real great here but just getting by hour-by-hour. Been going to dialysis a shift earlier but still just as tired even though I'm back by 4 now instead of 8:30. But winter just sucks! a lot. Other than my responsibilities just not motivated to do anything. Wish you my best love and support in all the crap you're going through. We got to keep trying even though it's really hard now. The Winter of The World!

 

Good to hear from you George, I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. Your feelings are coming through in your words. I feel your pain. Because I’ve been there. Desperate for something to feel right or ok. During the first year after Ron passed I can’t tell you how many days I did nothing. I wasn’t sleeping, or eating and I’d get up and go to the kitchen. I’d sit there for hours and hours. My daughter moved in to stay with me for months. She was working from my house. She kept checking on me because all I did was sit. Your words, blah and lifeless, perfect choices for how you feel. I get it. Things will get better, it’s super slow. Keep fighting the fight. We’re all in this nightmare together. Wish I could give you a hug. Robin

 

George, wanted you to know that you
wrote to me at 10:13 pm last night, Linda's
birthday. She would've been 71. I'm 72. Bc
I've been sick with Omicron, & confined
to my apartment, on cold, gray, rainy, or
snowy days, I thank other GW, for their
good wishes & prayers. Does anyone have
a condo in Florida, where I can stay during
this awful winter? Lou