Too Many Losses

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by CAL425, Aug 27, 2021.

  1. CAL425

    CAL425 Member

    These past 16 months have been difficult to say the least.
    I'm a teacher and March 6, 2020 a former student died due to CoVid.
    March 7, 2020 one of my sisters died.
    April 3, 2020 my mother died.
    April 8, 2021my father's best friend (he and his wife were my 2nd set of parents).
    April 25, 2021 my last living grandparent died at 102.
    Yesterday, August 26, 2021, my other sister died.

    Due to CoVid and my sister's death I couldn't go to my students funeral. There was no funeral for my sister or mother or grandmother, and there won't be one for my other sister.

    Did I mention my dad was diagnosed as being in the early stages of either Alzheimer's or Dementia. I am his primary caregiver and support. I am a single mom (widow of 8 years), and I feel like I'm drowning. I feel lost and confused.
  2. Daniele

    Daniele Member

    Cal, I'm so very sorry to hear of all of your losses. This must be SO hard for you. I'm glad that you're here, and I have found the members here to be very supportive of me and my loss situation. I can't really imagine how your loss/grief trajectory will/should look, as I had (only) two losses and felt similarly lost and like I was just wandering through life. I also have a parent w/dementia - my mother who is now in memory care due to safety issues. Wow, the world is hard in these times.
    What type of students/ages do you teach? I am a professor myself. Let me know if you want to chat or if there is anything I can do to support you through this heavy time.
  3. CAL425

    CAL425 Member

    First, thank you! I teach at a small 1A school. So I am the English Department 9,10,11, and ,12. I also teach 4N6. (forensics) acting and Intro to teaching and Yearbook. I also coach 4N6, do the school yearbook, and am the school Yellow Ribbon Suicide Awareness and Prevention Chapter.

    I just finished my Masters in Curriculum and Teaching about two weeks ago. I honestly don't know how I did it. I am beginning to feel like a Zombie. I am a single parent, I have two Beautiful girls one is a Senior in college and the other a Junior in HS. My father handles grief by avoidance and so I honestly don't know how to deal with it. He says don't cry...they are in a better place. It will be okay. He lives 27 minutes away from me and I see him 3 times a week and call him twice a day on the days I do not visit. He is the only family I have that lives close by. It just feels like too much sometimes.

    Sorry for the word vomit. I'd love to have someone to chat with. I really would
  4. Hi Cal
    I am so sorry of your cumulative losses. I cannot imagine what you're going through. It seems so unfair that so much could happen to one person in such a short amount of time. I don't have many words, only to share my experience...

    My mum passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2018, after 19 month and I was her caregiver.
    Covid hit and my plans to move to USA (from Australia) to tour my music were abandoned. Then my father-in-law passed away suddenly during lockdown and we were unable to visit him in ICU at hospital due to restrictions. I fell pregnant soon after, but then my cat died - who was my emotional support pet since my Mum passed. My bandmate died by suicide in April. Then in June, I birthed my precious baby boy but 2 days later he too died suddenly.

    I find myself as a motherless child and yet also a childless mother. My empty arms feel so heavy every day and I just want my Mum to comfort me. I can't begin to process the other losses. We've been in lockdown for almost 19 months here in Melbourne, on and off but it's been really hard to grieve and to process all of this.

    I'm going to check back on this community if you wish to share messages of support.

    Chris M 2000 likes this.