The Return of Mr. Grief

Yesterday I had a calm day, enjoying the sunny day and I didn't shed a tear, but Mr. Grief came back with vengeance. First I didn't sleep well, then I decided to drive to go to the pet store and buy food for the cat, the battery of my car was totally dead and I don't know anything about cars, plus I live in the bunnies (I haven't go out for over a month since my spouse left this world) Totally frustration!!! and now I'm back to square one. I started to call my older sister for support 'What can I do now', like she is going to solve my car problems from the distance. Seems like nothing is working, my other half is not here, again I left wide open the door to Mr. Grief.

 

I totally understand. Some days are better most days are just plain hard. After dialysis yesterday had to drive home in a snow storm and was so wiped out just got in bed at 4:30. Couldn't do anything at all. Not to sleep just to hide from all the pain. It is so hard without Valerie around to be with me...

 

Helena, I can relate to your day in which
nothing goes right. I know that's
happened to everyone on GIC, who don't
need added aggravation on top of
battling Mr. Grief. Just read George's
reply to you. TGW pray every day for
him. Dialysis is bad enough, but trying
to deal with a seemingly endless, very
cold, dark winter as well as missing
Valerie, is just too much. I was depressed
last night bc I was going to be trapped
inside today, bc of a snowstorm, the 2nd,
& I hope last one of the season. February
sucked as usual. I hope March will come
in "like a lamb".......I didn't go out today.
My way of dealing with the snow & no
sun, was to take a nap. Now, I feel better,
bc I can eat dinner, get on GIC, & relax.
I like hearing the town plow trucks, which
means the roads will be clear tomorrow,
& I can walk outside. As I told George, I
try not to think of winter as one block.
Some days, with sun & blue skies, are
better. I know you will have a better day
tomorrow, Helena, but it was a good idea
to get on GIC to "vent", as my wife,
Linda used to say. Lou

 

I'm so sorry George, you have to deal with dialysis and the horrible cold & snow but sometimes I think that I'm living in a nightmare, all of us have bad and some good days, I just want to "vent" like Lou mentions on his thread. Please take care. Helena.

 

Lou, I'm totally feeling that I'm at the edge of getting depress, but GIC is kepping me in one piece, reason for me "venting" over something which in not the end of the world. Thanks for your words, tomorrow will be better and also you take care of yourself. Helena

 

For me it comes in waves; some are those rolling, nauseating ones, you almost can’t stay standing. Others are big crashing ones with salty spray. The sneaker waves come out of nowhere and smash me into the sand. You’re doing great, Helena. ~Bernadine

 

Bernadine, living near the ocean as I do,
I understand your analogy of the waves.
Every morning, I see the changing tides.
Some days the ocean is calm. Other days,
after a storm ( of grief?), it is wild and
turbulent. I strive for that middle ground
of waves gently soothing my soul. Lou

 

Whenever I am depressed & lonely in the
middle of the night, I reach out to other
GW. Sometimes I see Karen or Bernadine
on the West Coast, or I simply post my
thoughts, & someone usually answers in
the morning. Lou

 

Venting is what we are here for. Today was a much better day. I hope you too will feel better, as The Deb sez itsa rollercoaster ride of grief

 

So wasted and wiped out yesterday but today was way better. Take all the good moments that come and give my injured finger to MG!

 

George, happened to wake up & saw your
reply to Helena. I chuckled at middle
finger reference. I told you that you hadn't
lost your sense of humor. Also, I get a kick
out of "The Deb" phrase, & sometimes use
it . Lou

 

She be Th' Deb for sure! Love her!

 

So do I, George! The Deb uses unique
phrases that make me laugh: total
understatement !!! ( TU)! Lou

 

I need any LoL-ing I can get!

 

Well, I guess I'm glad I live in Calif regarding weather in the east. That's one positive for Calif, lot's of negative.

 

I'm sorry for your loss. When things happen it will definitely seem like grief will be harder. Its rough when the most dependable people in your life are gone. Something happen and they are the first ones you want to call. Did you get another battery for your car? Continue to get out and do things to get fresh air. It'll eventually feel a little better to keep busy.

 

Helena, I'm so sorry that once again you found yourself in Mr. Grief's tight grip!!
And hopefully you were able to solve the problem with your car battery. I know that is so stressful when things like that happen, and to top it off, feeling like nothing is working, is totally frustrating!!
And you will be in my thoughts.

Take care always
Debra

 

Debra, Good Morning. Thanks for asking!!, I'll deal with the battery some other day. Today it's a gloomy Sunday and I will stay in, I'm sure tomorrow will be better, now I have to try and take care of my wellbeing, even so I'm alone, I'm still here with my dog and cat, my daily companions.!!
You are also in my thoughts and please take care of yourself and your girls, they need you, this grieving its a long process to travel.
Sending you many cyber hugs.

Helena

 

George, I'm glad that you feel much better! and today I'll be positive too, tomorrow will be better for you, Lou, and the GW of GIC. Take care

 

Good morning, Helena
And you're welcome. And I certainly understand, it is best for us to do whatever and however much we feel we can handle each day, so as not to overwhelm ourselves. And because today is a gloomy Sunday here also, my girls and I will be staying in also. And I'm sure tomorrow will be better as well. And it is so important to try and take care of yourself. Dogs and cats do make good companions, and so I'm so glad that you have them. And thank you so very much for keeping me in your thoughts, and you are always in mine. And I have been taking care of myself as well as my girls, because they do need and depend on me. And grieving is a long process to travel, and I look forward to being able to get through each day easier...
And thank you so much for sending me many cyber hugs. And I'm sending you many cyber hugs as well as hoping you will have peace, also.
Take care always,
Debra