The "Nanna Mac" cycle of life

My beloved, now departed, wife Janet used to refer to what she called the "Nanna Mac" cycle of life. Her aunt Nanna Mac aged and slowly became more of just an afterthought to the family before she died. At a family gathering one time Janet was sitting on the sofa unnoticed and realized, "I'm Nanna Mac".

This is the natural cycle of life. Aging spouses can handle this because they have each other and all their shared memories, but the loss of one spouse devastates the surviving spouse. The 24/7 battle with unending loneliness becomes the reality of life. I share thoughts in groups with others of similar fate, and the struggle of loneliness and depression is the primary topic. There is not so much the hue and cry of "why me" or "poor me". The quandary is how to accept "the new normal" and convince oneself that life is still worthwhile.

Suggestions are made on perfunctory ways to pass the time and even to "move on", and they appear adequate to some. But to those like me whose devotion to their departed spouse continues on after their death, the transition to some new normal is not possible without the bedrock belief that there will be a reuniting someday. Spiritual encounters provide that hope and bridge the gap until that anticipated day arrives. The uplifting emotions in those precious moments when I feel Janet's presence help overcome the 24/7 loneliness, but in times of despair it is hard not to wish for the hastening of that final day.