The loss of my baby brother my best friend

My baby brother was murdered August 18th of this year. They murderer is a childhood friend's his husband. They have the man that killed him in jail. I'm trying really hard to keep moving but it is so hard. I only have one family member that I talk to on a regular and that is my mom. I can't verbally talk about what happened to my brother and I can't hear anyone or myself talk about it without losing control and shaking gaster than a jackhammer and crying uncontrollable and I can't even look to the future bc I don't see one with him. To wake up each day to have to be another day without him and walk the earth and live this life is extremely hard. I can't stand that with each passing day it's another day longer without him. I truly don't think I'm ever gonna function normally again.