The Dux

I am living on my own for the first time of my life... and I'm really diggin' it even though EVERY night I dream of my Valerie, Dying, Living, Crabbing... I love her so much!
But my new routine is to walk most mornings to the nearby park and there are these awesome ducks in a pond with a peaceful fountain even. Mommy duck and ten little ones cruising around... gliding on greenish water... Suddenly Dad Duck wings his way back to his Duck Fam... Green shiny head he steps on to a rock to make sure no mayhem hurtz his little ones! There are also plastick turtles on some rocks... too phony for me but anyway! Sun, trees, wind! Away from the concrete and generic Aparatamant Complex I was exiled to for almost two years in Lombardville! I now live in a hundred year old courtyard building. It is old. Woods floors and funky windows! I love it! I can walk to places now! When TB comes back from France next week... The insanity will begin again. Am I prepared?

 

George,

I am so over the top happy for you, TUTTAM!!! I read this twice. I can't stop smiling...

Thank you so much for sharing this way beyond wonderful news with us.

As always, sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all the way from TUTTAMVILLE Debanator and Skye Queen

 

Thank you the DEB.. I'm trying but itz still so hard! Hugs and hugz and more LOVE!

 

Hey George! Congrats! I'm proud and happy for you. I no it seems like a lot and you still miss Valerie but she's proud of you too. Hope things continue to improve for you. Continous prayer for your strength.

 

I miss her so much

 

I no you do. I don't think we'll ever stop missing them. It's good we can all talk about it to each other though.

 

I’m so happy for you George! I love your morning walk to the park and watching the fun duck family. Getting the fresh air that helps so much. Your building has so much character, glad you love your new place! You might be living on your own, but Valerie is there with you. Happy things are going well for you. Robin

 

I even set up a shelf of her stuff that I saved as a memorial. Hope they keep going well. All we can do is keep trying...

 

Most definitely.. I know our loved ones would want us to be strong and keep living!

 

Oh George I love your memorial shelf for Valerie! I’m familiar with so many of this things, it made me smile. I’m trying to keep going. I’m feeling overwhelmed and I’m having trouble getting past it. Is that bunny ceramic? I have one in tan. Looks very similar.

 

It's a little resin rabbit. It looks very lifeLike... I too feel overwhelmed especially by moving... It is never easy but I just try to be mindful and focus on the here and now. Like the future and past don't exist in reality. Just our perceptions of them that are clouded with our sadness, fear, angst... and other mindBaggage,... Oh much love to you and take care!

 

Nicole, you hit the nail on the head , in your reply to George,
about never stopping missing
our soulmates. How can we,
when they live inside us?Even
now , after over 4 & a half yrs
since Linda's death, I think of
her every day. If I meet a
friendly tourist couple, I
sometimes tell them a funny
comment Linda said to me,
and it feels good to laugh. Lou

 

Wow, George,as our friend, DEB ,
would say, I'm so happy for you
TUTTAM!!!Your description of the peaceful ducks, matches
the scene I see of a duck pond,
waterfall, & meadow,near me.
In fact, I sat on a bench there
today, feeling the sun on my
face, erasing intrusive thoughts,
& enjoying the moment, like
Tom Zuba suggests, in Permission to Mourn. When you
showed us a picture of where
you live now, it took my breath
away, bc you never showed us
your place in dull Lombard
land.......Lou

 

Great job hanging out with the dux Bro Geo. I bet they appreciate your company. I can imagine using that location to blast off on a Kalpavriksha guided meditation. There’s a gas station nicknamed Papa Ducks about 10 miles away. The apartamant photo reminds me of either the album cover Physical Graffiti by the Zep and the Stones album covers Beggars Banquet and or Hot Rocks. Total nostalgia for you George. You’re in a great environment to heighten your creativity. I gave a half hour testimony at a zoom grief meeting last Sunday. It drained me kinda preparing for it. But the payoff was realizing how much I love my beloved Cheerful Cheryl and all the good memories. And how I appreciate having Cheryl’s nonphysical presence around me intermittently. Glad you’re driving the truck me Bro. Much love to George. Gary

 

Gary, it brings me great joy to
see my 2 younger brothers on
here. Thank you for reaching out
to George a few minutes ago. I've
missed you, but understand you
were too drained 'til now, and
were just able to put "LIKE"to
different posts. I'm amazed
that just as I thought a widow
had moved on, she stayed on,
to help a new member. In this
case, Dallas ( "Deejay") , from
Australia, welcoming and giving
comfort to Kritti, of Oregon.
I've enjoyed private emailing
with Georgine, of S.C., and Sue,
from South Africa. DEB showed
me that it's easy to click on
" Start a Conversation", and to
check off box that keeps out
others in a private talk. DEB
did that when the GIC system
had to be rebooted, and I was
lonely, angry , & sad that I
could no longer "talk" with my
friends.I consider you my
colonel , to my general, among
The Grief Warriors ( TGW). You
honored & flattered me by
calling me The Godfather ,
bringing the family together.
Brother George has guided me
through my medical scare of
low kidney function. My doctor
said that with a change in diet,
and exercise ( dancing!!)", I may
be able to avoid the dialysis ,
which George has to endure to
stay alive, or at least , delay it.
On Mon - Wed nights , I go to
bed earlier , bc I'm out dancing
with female friends the other
nights. Linda would have wanted for me to be healthy and
happy. We had that talk when
she became ill. She even wanted
me to find another woman, but
I'm not actively seeking, do not
want to get married again, but
can't say never to another
relationship. It's just not a
priority for me now, but my
health is. Good night , my
brothers and sisters. Lou

 

Hey thar The Lou... I always keep on going the best I can... been somewhat depressed and not in a great mood this past week; but seeing you and BroGar on GIC does lift my spirits a bit! I am so tired... I will try to do a painting today. I am glad your diet and exercise endeavors could keep you off of Dialysis... Last night was a grueling 4 hours to say the least. Those giant needles in my arm for four hours can be painful! Keep jiving the Boogie dude!

 

Overall I am doing better but I'm still so exhausted and unmotivated at times. At least now I can go for a walk to interesting fun places. The peaceful park (even with screaming playing kidz) is still so nice and real not like that phony concrete aparatamant complex! Now I want to listen to some LZepp! Take care and keep on with the truck, truck, truckin me Bro!

 

Oh, shit! The giant needles and
pain are so scary, BroGeo. You
are so brave. That's why we
call you the UGW. I've mentioned
a friend, a Vietnam veteran, my
age, who's on dialysis. He used
to joke with me that he wanted
a kidney from me. He never
does anymore since I told him
about my very low functioning
ones. He has a Purple Heart.
After surviving Vietnam, he will
do anything to keep on living,
like you, George. Lou T.

 

Dialysis sux but it keeps you alive to go for walks, listen to music, and do art. I think I'll do a painting for Wednesday Art Therapy!

 

Happy Wednesday