Sweet baby Dash

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by Christina Guldner, Jun 25, 2019.


Does this pain ever subside?

  1. No, it does not.

    1 vote(s)
  2. You start to find small moments of joy.

    0 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Christina Guldner

    Christina Guldner New Member

    My name is Christina, I have been blessed with quite a large family, some biological and some step and foster. My oldest daughter Natalie never wanted kids...that was until she met her husband Greg. He already had two children and she instantly fell in love. Eventually they got married and decided to have another child. In Feb. 2017 I got the call that she was pregnant. On October 27th 2017 she gave birth to a perfect baby boy..Dashiell Ford Bucknam. In January 2018 he suffered his first of 28 seizures ..he was diagnosed with SCN1A gene deletion. It is common in children diagnosed with Dravet’s Syndrome..the most catastrophic form of childhood epilepsy. My daughter devoted every moment to making sure all Dash’s needs were met, to the endless Dr. appts and to being the best mom she could be...she really shines at being a mom. On Mother’s Day, they lay Dash down for bed and watched one television show before checking on him..my son in law Greg found him cool to the touch and with no pulse. My daughter ..trained in the medical field immediately started CPR which she continued until paramedics arrived. He was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead at a little after 1am May 13th. I got the call at 1:14am. It was as if she died right then with him. The next morning we made the 8 hour long drive to her home where I stayed for the month. Everyday is like the nightmare version of ground hogs day. My daughter will never recover, I will never recover. I have watched her give up a little more each day. There are no moments of joy. Our family is devastated at his loss. He was 18 months old and died of Sudden unexpected death due to epilepsy. The Dr. say they don’t understand as he was not even high risk. He was hitting all his mile stones , he was learning new words and so silly and full of life. I find little to no joy in anything anymore. I watched my daughter beg on her knees for him to come and take her with him. I am beyond sad, angry, confused and would trade my life in a heartbeat to put him back in her arms. It has been just a little over six weeks and each day I wake up it is like someone is sucking the life right out of me. I hurt because I lost my grandson and I hurt because it is as if she is gone as well. My heart is utterly broken..if anyone has any advice please share it with me.