Sudden and unexpected

Yay, Patti, for your team in the World
Series! I applaud your good deed of
helping homeless people. Linda & I knew,
only too well, how it felt to be homeless,
and depend on the "kindness of strangers",
to quote from the play, Streetcar from
Desire. Lou

 

Hi Lou, well , Dodgers didn't win , but that's okay,
so Braves are in. Don't know whose in the World
Series but whoever wins it will be this years best.
I just enjoy baseball. Feels good to watch games
again after so many years.
hope your day is going good.
Blessings, Patti

 

Patti thanks for your positive vibes. I hope your eyesight continually improves. I’m like George I’m in a melancholy mood. From day one the dark days and the rain put me in a low mood. I finally got the courage to go through some of Cheryl’s Junior high and high school photos. Cheryl collected half ladies.
I’m going to put her pictures in with some of the half ladies in a glass case. I haven’t got anything accomplished yet. I used to joke with Cheryl that in her previous life she was a flapper girl. Cheryl also collected flapper girl purses. George Lou was right how tough you are. You’ve got more to handle than any of us right now. But imagine in your mind that all the tasks you want to do are going to be successfully completed in the future. Imagine it all coming together. I like what Patti said about doing one thing at a time and getting nourishment. I’m feeling really anxious right now. I’m going to read some of the widowers notebook and get on my exercise bike. catch you all later. Gary

 

Oh, sorry. Patti. After the Boston
Red Sox lost ( just as I was starting to
get interested), I walked away. Have you
considered getting audio books of
Zuba's book & The Widower's Notebook,
a memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer? If you
do, you can join our small. book club! Lou

 

Go, Gary, with the bike & the book. You've
been so great about Zuba's book,that I
look forward to your take on Jonathan's. L

 

Hi Lou, I have listened to his you tube videos, don't
want to get the audio books, claiming a healing to be.
Use a magnifier, that gets frustrateing. Have you
listened to Tom Zuba on you tube?
Lou you asked in a prior posting , if in general I
like where I am living. I like my apartment , I moved
into it while some of the other apartments were still
being built.
The town is not well planned no sidewalk, no
bus transportation, no pedestrian crossing at
traffic signals. One needs to have a car, if not ,
the use of a taxi or uber. Sorry to say, it isn't a
friendly community ( which I'm not use to )
so it hasn't been easy since I made the move.
BUT " BIG BUT ,LIKE DEB SAYS " I will just
say , "it is what it is ."
Blessings, Patti

 

I've also heard from Women, in the past, who have been in danger of being assu

Well, Lou, I had to go back into the story to find your typo. I think I need a nap. Ha! By-the-way, the word tempermental is spelled wrong. Temperamental. Got's ya.
I really love reading your book of short stories or shall I say, long stories, you have so much to share in the present and remembering the past.

I'm sorry I don't mean to dig at you for the miss spelling. I really don't--we all misspell words. I guess I needed to get one up on someone and here you are. I must be careful Mr. Grief doesn't bring out the worst in me.

We're having a large storm and wind, much needed, but flooding to come. I'm on watch for oak limbs falling.

Yes, nap time. I had two chocolate chip cookies before bed last night and I felt I didn't sleep all night until 6AM. Sugar before bed--a no, no.

I will be waiting for the next chapter of your stories soon. Have a good evening, K

 

My book should arrive Wed if they don't change the delivery date. Looking forward to reading Jonathan's book.

 

Thanks for your reply, Patti. Did I read
that you live in Upstate N.Y. ? Many
moons ago, I went to college in the
Finger Lakes, and went on wine tours.
I did see Tom Zuba's videos on You Tube.
He's in his late 60s now. He gives lectures,
and they show pictures of his late wife,
& 2 of their children. What kept him
going, was raising their other 2 boys, who
are adults now. Lou

 

Great, Karen! Welcome to The Grief
Warriors Book Club! Lou

 

Karen, you have sharp eyes. You are
right about my misspelling. Usually, I
look it up, but since I don't have to answer
to a teacher, I let it slide. The typo was
that I kidded my friend, Roger, not
"missed" him. A while back, I misspelled
uncontrollably, but my emotion of
"sobbing uncontrollably" was much
more important than the spelling. My
dog at you, Karen, is that if you're going
to eavesdrop on my long stories to Deb,
would you please address the CONTENT,
& forget the spellings & typos? Linda
called me the Tasmanian Devil for a
reason. I "bite" back!! And yes, I just
noticed I said "dog" instead of dig, but I
didn't want to go back & change it! Lou

 

Okay, CONTENT, sorry. I'm not going to comment on typos, just have a giggle. Jack and I used to tease each other's mistakes and laugh only when we were in a good mood. Have a good evening, k

 

Lou,

As always, even when I'm an emotional mess, you say something that has me laughing. As soon as I read Ginny's response was that "her holiday, Halloween is coming up," I laughed. I kept right on laughing when she mentioned that she would like a man to cuddle with. It's hard to believe she is 97, TU!!! In spite of all the obstacles and heartbreak in her past, she has the absolute best outlook on life. Although, probably not the only reason, I'm thinking this probably has something to do with her longevity, and her ability to be so self sufficient. She lives her life to the fullest extent possible, enjoys herself, has a sense of humor and a big heart. She is definitely no. 1 on my list of people who I wish I could meet. Still sort of on, sort of off topic, that typo "thongs," always has me going. This is the first time I've laughed today. Thank you!!!

I'm almost too frazzled to "talk." (There is no way Bob would ever let this one slide by without saying something funny.) I HATE!!!, TU!!! this seemingly endless roller coaster ride of emotions. I had such a good day yesterday, but and this is one of those BIG BUTS!!!, I woke up crying this morning, hugging Bob's pillow. October 28th would have been our wedding anniversary. I know that you and Robin, and I think Karen might have said this too (but with this foggy widow brain, I'm not sure), that the days leading up to the event are worse than the event itself. I also feel like an outsider looking in on life whenever I think about the holidays.

I'm way too emotionally and physically exhausted to "talk" anymore and still make sense. I think I'm going to curl up on the couch, let all of my emotions out (the Kleenex company better appreciate me!!!), and hope tomorrow is a much better day. The one thing I know for sure, is that everything is always subject to change."

Thank you so much for "listening." It helps just knowing you "get it."

I hope you had many reasons to LMSO today, and that tonight is (mostly) a good one.

Sleep well...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

YKaren, now I feel like a meanie! I know
I can be hypersensitive, which is the
main reason I have weekly phone therapy
sessions. After 3 years since Linda's
death, I need my therapist's advice
sometimes on how to deal with people.
Linda & I used to tease each other, but
sometimes, she'd have to say, " just
kidding". I like you & everybody here,
Karen, so you can question me on
anything & I'll try not to be a rattlesnake!
Lou

 

Wow I hope I don’t miss spell anything. When you use the microphone for typing you have to triple check the spelling. I think I figured the system out read the widowers notebook in the afternoon and permission to mourn at night. I stopped reading before unanswered questions. So far the book has made me feel a lot of raw emotions. But I think this is necessary As painful as it is. I can relate to how Jonathan tried to conceal his feelings. Lou do you think Jonathan was a sailor? I was wondering if George was a sailor to since he used the term unmoored? I didn’t know what you guys were talking about until I read the chapter unmoored. I felt really good this morning but throughout the day I’ve been taking a bigger dose of grief. I have spoke to only one human being today. I’ve texted a few people. I can’t imagine how lonely I would feel if I didn’t have GIC. I reconnected with my cousin we had a falling out over our spiritual beliefs many years ago. I invited him to to and go hunting with me and he accepted. We really have to work to keep relationships alive. Close relationships are almost nonexistent going through grief. I have a brother and two friends that are the only people that I can talk to you other than my friends on GIC and the grief support meeting. After going to the grief support meetings for over four months I finally made one friend that wants to talk after the meeting is over. He’s really raw and I’ve tried to make helpful suggestions but decided I’m just going to be a good listener. and that seems to work out the best. I’m getting a crown put on in the morning. And I have to do shopping afterwards. FYI I’ve had computer problems all day long to. join the club. Rest well TGW. Gary

 

Lou, when I sent my post I just knew I shouldn't of. For some reason I've been in a feisty mood missing Jack in this house, all alone, no one to tease. It's really getting to me. Just another negative of Mr. Grief.
You seem to be a very honest person who knows himself pretty well. You don't hide behind a curtain, you express yourself to others and I admire that.

Okay, I did have one more giggle on your closing last word. K

 

Thanks for checking in with me tonight,
despite that you are emotionally &
physically drained from mourning
Jack. I hate that "Mr. Grief" (thank you,
Karen) punches you in the face. He
socked me when I was standing in the
kitchen tonight, preparing a light
supper. Linda had bought a red salad
spinner, which looks like a spaceship. I
had a flashback to the rooming house
where we were in one room & had a
share a bathroom down the hall, with
ex-con drug dealers & alcoholics, bc of our
financial difficulties. It was either that or
sleeping in the woods. We had a hot plate,
and Linda would put a pot or pan on it
for cooking. I was in a bad state mentally,
and almost got into a fistfight with a guy
who I thought had harassed her while I
had to be in a psychiatric wing of a
hospital, to have my meds adjusted. As you
would say, "backing up a bit".....Linda
would crank the salad spinner, with a
vigorous motion. It meant supper was
almost ready. She had to take care of me,
bc I was in no condition to work. When I
cranked that spinner, the noise brought
me back to that awful time, when she
had to work to pay our rent, our meds,
and to put food on the table. We would
watch

 

I think your post got cut off, ended saying We would watch... Anyway, Lou, you and Linda have gone through so many ups and downs in life I'm so glad you have found your forever home and people you care about. In spite of everything you're standing, breathing and moving and helping everyone on this post as well as people helping you too.
Jack always used to say when things got rough, "We're a team". I feel you and Linda were a "team". Plowing through life together in bad and good times. Lou, I have to say you have been blessed to have loved your Linda and I know she felt the same way. She didn't want to leave you, she tried to stay, but cancer got her body as it did Jack's.

I've always heard people say, who are naturalist or a certain religion; the mind and body are one (mind over matter). I just don't get it.

With that, I'll check off, thank you for your response. "We are a Team". TGW, Karen

 

Glad you're reading Jonathan's book in the daytime, Gary. I don't recall Jonathan
being a sailor. He does have clever
chapter titles, as you will soon find out.
I commend the fact that you've chosen
to just listen to your friend from the
group. Linda used to say to me, "I want
to vent". When I impatiently & stupidly
interrupted her, she was not pleased, to
put it mildly. I basically covered my
mouth after that, and just listened, as a
kind, understanding husband should. Lou